tao1776

The big guy has taken his last tumble and America feels (?) Balance has been very difficult for me. For longer than I wish to admit to. I find it most difficult to see our world deteriorate into a world of sheep and blind mice. I have been attempting to improve myself and only act as actions would dictate. In other words, I have not committed myself as a peace activist or to some endeavor that I'm not equipped for. I'm just trying to quietly find my place and prepare myself for any call to action or non-action that may arise. Like what, you may ask? I do not know. I just don't want to be counted among those that do nothing if and when the call to do something should arise. But I am as equally prepared to do nothing. In moving with the Tao, something of which I have been far too self occupied to find the rhythm of such, there is a time to push forward, to pull back, or be still. I have been something of a gyrating, spasmodic; This Being Human... There wasn't any link b...

Page 133 of the This Being Human... handbook states, "The entire universe is in perfect order. One must act in accordance with how things are, not how one wants things to be." Huh? "My doctrine is to think the thought that is unthinkable, to practise the deed that is not-doing, to speak the speech that is inexpressible, and to be trained in the discipline that is beyond discipline. Those who understand this are near, those who are confused are far. The Way is beyond words and expressions, is bound by nothing earthly. ...Buddha Okay, but....yeah, I knew this intuitively. That is until I lost my job. All the bullshit associated with such a loss had me asking questions and this meant that there had to be answers. Concrete answers and concrete solutions. Thinking.....not being... This Being Human... You take the good, you take the bad,you take them both and there you have ..The facts of life, the facts of life. Alan Thicke Thanks, Al! Upon meeting a Zen master at a soc...

Without the benefit of streetlights and the often endless rows of houses, the disoriented driver found it near impossible to discern roadway from embankment. Once off the roadway, only the tracks that led to this point were visible and they were fading fast. One of the first inferiors to present itself was the voice of regret. If only he had; or had not. Not an entirely useless thought; regret. If used constructively one can learn from mistakes. If the moment is appropriate for regret, that is. Sometimes, what is done is done. As they say, no use in crying over spilt milk. The second inferior to present itself, front and center and always at rigid attention, was fear. Fear brings with it a vacuum. A vacuum, that sucks out all available oxygen until thinking is slowed, the body tires and the desire to lie down becomes fear's cheering section. The third to show itself was anger. Although fear of fear was an ever present oxymoron, anger was his greatest opponent. Regret could be rati...

Sometimes you discover a smile and notice the warmth as it moves slowly across your face. The universe has ways of gently shaking you awake making attempts to nestle you away from being so damned serious. It is only life, after all. My spinal pain and spasms were so great that it took ten minutes to concoct a method that would allow me to sit and put my socks on. When settled into place, I lifted my foot and pulled the sock's opening into place. With the socks elastic opening pulled open for maximum expansion, my toes at attention and waiting for the warmth of a durable hiking sock, my sock slipped from off my fingertips like a paperclip during high school detention and landed over ten feet away. Or when... while shaving my head one morning in the shower, I dropped my razor hand to my side while examining my shaving progress with the other. I noticed the water flowing the length of the shower floor taking on a dark hue. In my second notice, I saw that the blood was flowing down t...

You know, this new beta blogger is quite simple...it's me. Over time, my blog has turned into a mess and I appear to be too feeble minded to fix it. I tried to place my profile and the links section to the right of the blog being posted. I tried to place an interesting wall paper. I tried this and that. Now look. Blah. Blah, Wahhhhh! I quit. This is what you get. All part of This Being Human.....? No. Just me. Burnt!

Between December 16, and December 19, 1944, my father was one of the many captured American prisoners during the famous "Battle of the Bulge." Wading through the two foot snow and below zero temperatures, they were crowded upon cattle cars and transported to Stalag 1X-B at Bad Orb, Germany. As stated by another POW...December 17Th, Captured. - Walked all night December 18Th walked all day- 1/3 Loaf bread cheese, marmalade December 19Th in PW cage December 20Th walked all day December 21st walked all day December 22nd walked all day December 23rd Boarded train no food December 24th on train no food no water December 25th on train no food little waterDecember 26th 1/6 loaf, little meat 0100 on train December 26th left train at 0900 Bad orb Stallager (IXB) In April of 1945, the 44th Infantry Division pushed through German territory to liberate the POWs. This is what they had to say: Stalag IX-B is usually regarded as the worst of the German camps that held American POWs. Inc...

The unseasonably warm winter has created a vibration in the homeostasis sought by the New England season. The timing is off. The rhythm and poetry of musicians and poets is forced into a conglomerate of colors, one bending into the other until one cannot tell where red lets off and orange begins; the collection fading to black. This also is the state of This Being Human..... Is there one who is constant and whom you can entirely rely on? I have, in discovering the light and the dark, the visible and the shadow of This Being Human..... that everyone, in the right environment, is capable of anything. This awareness leads to compassion for others. In seeking a compassionate hand and an understanding friend, to accept, love and forgive even my darkest shadow self, I have come to know, once again, that it all starts with me.

This Being Human..... is not about presenting myself as one that has experienced enlightenment...or as someone who is pretty or full of wisdom. I hope to transcend the frailties of This Being Human.... and I have learned that we are complex...and yet so simple.... Entering my dining area, full of green, we only eat there at the holidays or when we have a large gathering. A prism collects and distributes light across the room while marking the window shade with the colors of the rainbow. To work and to love....strength and passion...so complex...and yet so simple. Change....

My mind / my stomach is acting like a cat in a bag scratching for release. Received a call mid evening Sunday night and as is the custom I let the machine pick it up. It was a brief call, broken and halted from my brother in law in New York. My younger sister (48) had a stroke. Out of four children, not the one you would think of first when considering any one of us as being a candidate for a stroke. My first thought was of how this could be an inconvenience . My second, what a selfish lout I am. My third, what a pain in the ass my siblings are. I find it (??) in that after my mother died.... My oldest sister was pissed at the younger because she grabbed everything that she wanted from the house before returning home. My oldest sister was pissed (at me) because I would not back her up in her plan to take the executor of the estate position from my older brother and shift it to her fiance' (a lawyer) Needless to say, she was pissed at my older brother for not giving it up. My old...

I have been fortunate in that I have met and supped with people of diverse backgrounds. My summer 4th O' July parties were the best based on this fact. It is my favorite thing to do. I love people. I love the diversity. I have met some that I love to listen to. I have met some that have me enjoying a lengthy discussion while some have me relish in keeping it short. In blogging...I have met some fascinating people. I wish that I could fly out and meet them all. It would be problematic in that, according to today's culture and mores, I couldn't make love to some of the woman that have grown so dear to me. The world creates such pearls of men and woman and I bask in their company. Imagine...throwing a week long B B Q for all of your blog friends... I would love to "sit" with James & Mark. I would love to hang with Rubik for a day. I couldn't ask for better female company than Cape & Kim. There are so many others...What a B B Q it would be. I raise a glass...

On a completely different note, we had "The Dingo" (sitting at the table) for the night on Wednesday and then we had her for the entire next day. At two, she is talking more and more each day. Her Uncle taught her to say "three fiddy" (from South Park) but that's another story. She has a great sense of humor, loves to wrestle and always wants to "read a book". She is my oldest daughter's daughter and I am feel more close to her out of all the grandkids. I know that it is due to being present at her birth. I have fed and diapered her. I have rocked and sung her to sleep. When I am with her, I feel more like a dad than a "Pepe"....which is what I am called (another story). Then there is my "Meatstick" (in the chair). She is my oldest son's second daughter. (the first was adopted- another long, long story) She is hard to describe. So much fun. So much three years old. She should be here with us now. (this weekend) We have her e...

You might come to the conclusion - that I am concluding this brief line of thought regarding vehicles with a determination that Freemasonry is in some way conclusive. I am not. The line that I am trying to trace is one of an experience that has often been clouded by This Being Human.... where I would too often see greed and passions veiling high ideals and professions of morality and enlightenment. In this, I am included. Freemasonry has been historically, a kind of cease fire. In the building of that grand structure that we have come to know as the Church, beginning with the Church of Rome, it is clear that the Church must dominate and become the center of all. This is true of modern Christianity as well. The separation of Church and State is not in the mind of the church. It is taught that any thought that asserts itself against the current teachings of the church are Antichrist. Questioning authority is discouraged. If you are at all familiar with the reformation and the inquisition...

To quote a respected Freemason at http://www.myspace.com/freemasonry Freemasonry is a system of morality, veiled in allegory, illustrated by symbols. Our Order is NOT a religion, but religious in character. It is a philosophy of ethical conduct, which imparts moral and social virtues and fosters Brotherly love. Its tenets have endured since man turned the first pages of civilization. They embody the understanding by which man can transcend ordinary experience and build "a house not made with hands" in harmony, with the Great Architect Of The Universe. The Great Architect of the Universe.....call it God; call it Tao; call it what you will. In the mind's eye, it conjures up a visual, an understanding, a concept that is as vague as describing snow to a blind man in the mountains of Ecuador. I have become sick of the stink of religion; no matter what form it takes. Although I have been schooled in Christianity, healed in Taoism and awakened in Buddhism, I am in need of a vehi...

Thank the heavens for the pain relief of alcohol. I really don't mean it; but I do. I have been crutches material for about a week. It started with an infected toe. The Dr. used a laser to clean, purge and cauterize. Then I worked a day in the woods pulling out a half cord of fire wood in six foot pieces. I was reminded of the bread and fishes as the more I cut what I brought home, the pile seemed the same. Maybe I have a full cord. The local Mason lodge let me pull out as much as my pick up would hold for $10. The wood is such a blessing. My feet are now in spasm. The nerve from my spine, down into the big toe is inflamed. Since I work so hard at keeping my spine as limber as possible, the back injury manifests in other ways. Nerve damage gone awry. The truth is, I need to loose 25Lbs. I am 214 and 5'11"". Not what one would regard as fat, mind you. But for me, my fighting weight is light heavy weight. 178 to 185 Lbs. But that was when I was young. 186 - 190 would be...

...using mundane speech. This Being Human.... Throughout all of recorded religious history, God has been thought of in terms of being "The Creator". In the most ancient and primitive of religions, God was thought of in terms of both polytheism and monotheism, being that creation needed both seed and womb. Perhaps this is also being reflected in Genesis 1: 26/27 "God said, let us make man in our own image after our likeness...So God created man in his own image... male and female created he them". It's interesting to note that most of the major religions contain the concept of God that reflects what could loosely be described as a trinity. Christians speak of Father, Son and Holy Ghost; The blessed Trinity. Hindu (Trimurti) Brahma, Vishnu, and Siva. The Tao De Ching says, "Tao gave birth to one, one gave birth to two, two gave birth to three, three gave birth to all myriad things". And in Mahayana Buddhism one can find the Sanskrit " Trikaya ...

Even before the introduction of the wheel there were all manner of boats, rafts and animals moving humans to and fro. Vehicles, ever evolving from cart to wagon, from horseless carriage to Porshe, the flight of Orville, (only a little more than one hundred years ago) to the age of space flight and our landing on the moon; All, it can be stated, have no importance one over the other. They are our construct to improve that of our first simple vehicle - Our feet! - transportation of the simplest kind. Likewise, contained within the minds of This Being Human.... there have been almost countless vehicles of religion and philosophy. Limiting our scope of knowledge to the vehicle of Christianity, Islam, Buddhist and Hindu, and the handful of other vehicles of which we have heard from the nightly news or from television, is to grossly underestimate This Being Human..... From the earliest days the Indian Vedas, the Greek sage Zoroaster, the teachings of Buddhism and Taoism, the introduction ...

The First Noble Truth , as explained by the Buddha - is that life is suffering. To live, you must suffer. It is impossible to live without experiencing some kind of suffering. We have to endure physical suffering like sickness, injury, tiredness, old age and eventually death. We endure psychological suffering like loneliness, frustrations, fear, embarrassment, disappointment, anger, etc... The Second Noble Truth is that all suffering is caused by craving. In other words, we are in a constant state of want; searching, in the belief that in obtaining we will find ourselves content. I think that any simple examination of these truths will validate their truthfulness. This, is believe is the root of religion. The quest for salvation. The Buddha prescribed an eightfold path by which in following, you could bring about an end to suffering. These are the teachings of Buddhism. Suffering and the end of suffering. Buddhism is but one vehicle that is constructed for the purpose of helping us ...

Buddha at the altar......

Porcelain & Jade collection with added resin pieces

Not nearly the photographer that James is, but here I present the Buddha with two styles of Quan Yin on either side in the background. Directly behind lies a laughing Buddha with hands raised.

Quan Yin in various forms ....in my upcoming posts I plan on fulfilling two promises....share some photos with James and tell Don & Mark a little about the Freemasons. Hope that all have had a very happy Thanksgiving! Or if in Canada, the UK, India or in South Africa.....as some of my blog friends are outside of the USA, I wish you a great hug....a low bow; and one of you, a slow kiss!!!!!!

I have so often heard the tale about America being a "Christian Nation." The story always begins with the arrival of the Pilgrims on the shores of Massachusetts. The story is furthered by the belief that the writers of the Declaration of Independence and that the founders of the Constitution were Christians who claimed this land for the glory of God. Although it is true that the founding of the American colonies found their motivation through their quest for religious freedom, it was readily apparent that this freedom should also allow for diversity in belief. As the Church of England sought deliverance from the Papacy, the Separatists sought freedom from the church of England. Roger Williams fled the Separatists for religious freedom in Rhode Island while the Quakers found solace in Pennsylvania. It all comes full circle as the Catholics found freedom from all the Protestants in Maryland. The sticking point of all this is that each sect thought of the other as being wrong. (...

There are five stages, according to Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Koss, that a terminally ill person goes through denial, anger, bargaining, depression and ultimately, acceptance. This has always stuck with as it seemed to be a healthy and deep construct much like the Buddha's four noble truths and the eightfold path. It has been said, again much like the eightfold path, that the steps are not always in order. However, the steps are there to be crossed anyway. I have found, much to my chagrin, that suffering also follows the same pathway. As a Leo, a proud man, one that has been labeled by some as arrogant and by others as humble; a mixture of man and spirit (Prana - Breathe) I don't lie down easily. Acceptance. A deep and abiding rest in what truly is. The word and the definition does not do the experience justice. To be free from suffering; enlightenment. It does not mean absence of pain, or debt or loss. It means a transcendence beyond pain, debt or loss. I am so often amazed, angere...

In New England, it is tradition around this time of the year, to hold Turkey Raffles. It's a way for all the local organizations to raise money. The Fire Department, schools, American Legion and all the Social Clubs will fill to the brim as people gather to get, "three spins for a buck." Although there are several variations, the standard practice is to spin a numbered wheel. If the number matches your ticket, you win the prize. First spin is usually a turkey, or a roast or a pork loin. Second spin may be a bottle or a bag of potatos, and third, a kilbasa or such. Tonight, I will help prepare two large pots of beef stew for tomorrow's raffle at my sportman's club. (Beagle club) Me and Pete will begin late this afternoon with all the dicing and chopping and cooking. I am the tatste-master, approving the final result. On Friday night, we will reheat and serve, for free, until it is all gone. I get a free turkey for this, but I get much more.... I love to cook, to cr...

....When I began this blog, it was titled "Tao1776 Tao & Zen...A little rain must fall." My inspiring concept was based on the teachings and experiences within Taoist practice and that of an even more limited experience with Zen. You see, I was introduced to Taoism when in the midst of pain and monetary suffering greater than that of which I am now experiencing. In time, as my practice developed and my faith deepened in my practice, my role as a manager grew, and so did my wallet. With greater responsibility and dedication to the job, my practice suffered and balance wained. My practiced diminished . I still maintained a good degree of insight and a sense of faith in awareness. This was helpful as I watched the local division falter and position me and my crew out of our jobs. This WAS the "little rain that must fall." As my finances drained away, drinking increased. Practice stopped. Jobs were no where to found. I took refuge in a b...

...The Almanac predicted snow in early to mid November and I sat watching the rain in mid fifty degree temperatures. The trees are almost completely barren except for the few pines that stab brazenly at the sky. ...Wu Wei asked, "Are we not wasps who spend all day in a fruitless attempt to traverse a window-pane - while the other half of the window is wide open?" ...I sat smoking my pipe with a full belly while contemplating post replies and personal e mails from fellow bloggers, mentors and friends. The Lady often tells me that I should begin a gratitude journal. As I sit, watching the rain flood over the road and nourish the earth around me, there is surely much to be thankful for. As said by Wu Wei, "Living should be perpetual and universal benediction." I thank you, my friends for your encouraging words. I thank you for your understanding and your lack of judgement. Peace be unto you. Namaste. Tim

For those of you who may be familiar with Latin or those of you that have known me through my blog since it's inception in early 2005, "A fictional iter itineris" began on my blog of 9/19/06. A stick in the mud is a point of avoidance; giving a wide berth, for in so doing, you can avoid getting shit on your shoes. I have become that stick. Perhaps I should be pleased by my service but no one really enjoys being stuck in shit, now do they? I have become increasingly dis-associative; hence my semi fictional account of the cabin, of Earle, and of my long hike in the wood. Although rooted in truth and in characterizations of people that I truly know, the stories are a fictional account of my current struggles with tough financial times, ongoing problems of health, deep spiritual conflict, and a family tree aflame with depression. I am a shell of my former self. I was a poor steward of my money when I had it. Depression is so clearly genetic. Especially when you examine my fam...

Hand, out stretched seeking comfort seeking aid. A few words, a gentle word; while secretly wishing I could heal. Not wanting to wittness the pull of illness closer towards death's door. ........To be quite honest with you, I wish that I could introduce to you a high degree of levity; or perhaps make you laugh. Some of the most memorable people that I have known have been those that live life with a smile. It's not that life has been a bed of roses for them. They have an inate ability to flow and I envy that. Things have always been too complex for me. I have seen too much suffering. I have often wondered about karma, the sins of the fathers, about inescapable fate. I am sure that there is a place, a place of enlightenment, homeostasis, a place of wisdom, compassison and balance. My friend James spoke of the burning off of negative karma. How hot does the fire need to be? I cannot breathe.

It is interesting to look at the constructs we assemble in an attempt to define ourselves in our mind's eye. James, in his wisdom, reminded me of the "middle way". His point held more credence than my belief that I, needed to walk the long and rugged trail back to the cabin. That I ever walked such a long and difficult trail with such intent, James reminded me, has no gain or loss in walking or catching a ride to the cabin door. Especially as I walked with the intent of being an ascetic, as though my difficulty proved something. With an already beat up body, in a daily battle with pain, why would I not accept a ride? If I was walking for exercise, or to commune with nature (and to a degree, I was) then things might be different. But I strapped on the labor of the long hike not, as it were in union with the world about me but as if in suffering I might find myself. Why indeed? With a F150 and a Suzuki Quad in tow, I was back at the cabin in less time than it took to cook m...

As a family, we have gravitated towards holidays and celebrations that reflect our heritage and our beliefs. All Hallows Eve is a time of gathering and we oblige. The family gets together along with a few close friends and we eat some our favorite foods and toast the good times of summer past while greeting the darkness of winter. My day of departure for the long walk home was marked by downpours of Noah-like proportions. I decided to spend Saturday inside and to mark Sunday as the day for my departure. Sunday morning came with a steady wind of twenty to thirty mph and gusts up to fifty. I can barely recall a more windy day. It was awesome to witness but I was fearful of walking the wood in such a wind. The trail would be wet and a hazard to walk on. There are stories of "widow makers" - trees that fall on unsuspecting woodsman ending our already short lives. I decided that Monday would be a better day. Monday arrived with a blazing sun and temperatures that rose to the sixty...

Samhain. All Hallow’s Eve. Hallow E’en. Halloween. Exactly opposite Beltane (May Day) on the wheel of the year, Halloween is Beltane’s dark twin. All Hallow’s Eve is the eve of All Hallow’s Day (November 1). And for once, even popular tradition remembers that the eve is more important than the day itself, the traditional celebration focusing on October 31, beginning at sundown. And this seems only fitting for the great Celtic New Year’s festival. Not that the holiday was Celtic only. In fact, it is startling how many ancient and unconnected cultures (the Egyptians and pre-Spanish Mexicans, for example) celebrated this as a festival of the dead. But the majority of our modern traditions can be traced to the British Isles.The Celts called it Samhain, which means “summer’s end”, according to their ancient twofold division of the year, when summer ran from Beltane to Samhain and winter ran from Samhain to Beltane. Samhain is pronounced (depending on where you’re from) as “sow-in” (in Irela...

Boredom is such a strange state of mind; dullness, doldrums... So, I decided to look once again at the "five hindrances" or negative mental states that prolong our state of dis-ease or dukka. As listed in Wikipedia, they are: 1. Sensual desire (kamacchanda): Craving for pleasure to the senses.2. Anger or ill-will (vyapada): Feelings of malice directed toward others.3. Sloth , torpor and boredom (thina-middha): Half-hearted action with little or no concentration.4. Restlessness and worry (uddhacca-kukkacca): The inability to calm the mind.5. Doubt (vicikiccha): Lack of conviction or trust. My first thought was, "Well, I'm screwed." As a man that is entering the August of his years, I sometimes mourn that I will never again know the touch of young love. I've never been labeled an angry man. Those that know me well tell others that they wouldn't like to see it. There are times when I feel that my only sense of satisfaction would come from administering...

In the wee dark hours of the night, it is amazing at how well the wind will carry a distant sound. A train, a horn, the bark of a dog. On this quiet night, the wind blew lightly through the trees in a mystical and haunting way. A flutter of loneliness manifested deep within my loins. One could imagine the trepidation of the early New England inhabitants when confronted by the quiet Autumn night and the thickness of darkness that embraced the wood. I could hear the sound of the over 40,000 civilians killed in Iraq since our arrival to liberate them from the dictatorship of Saddam Hussein. (U.N. figures show a steady rise in the number of civilian deaths to more than 100 a day) There have been 3,044 coalition deaths, 2,809 Americans, two Australians, 119 Britons, 13 Bulgarians, six Danes, two Dutch, two Estonians, one Fijian, one Hungarian, 32 Italians, one Kazakh, one Latvian, 17 Poles, two Romanians, two Salvadoran, three Slovaks, 11 Spaniards, two Thai and 18 Ukrainians in the war in ...

Warm days and cold nights are giving way to cold days and colder nights. I have taken to leaving the fire burn a little later providing with a few coals to work with in the early morning. It is archery season for deer. I have seen a few hunters cross the cart path passing by the cabin. It is somewhat startling as the distance between here and town is close to seventeen miles on the south east and eleven miles to the west. Usually archers will set up stands on known rutting areas and deer paths. Milling about the woods is usually left for those that are pushing deer towards another hunter. The two I saw today looked like mannequins for an LL Bean catalog. And then there is Earle. Yes, Earle. I would have jokingly called him Earle in a stereotypical joking sort of a way that only Yankees like me would get. Almost spit when he told me his name. I told him so. He enjoyed my laughter, even if it was at his expense. Earle is a wiry man of seventy years. As he had walked from the west end...

It is the custom in some aspects of Hindu society for the layman to fulfill his or her role in life in each of it's three stages; in childhood, to live, learn and grow and respect the wisdom of the elders. In adulthood, to marry, procreate, be responsible and teach your children as you yourself have been taught. In your elder years, cultivate spirituality and wisdom as your responsibility as parent or child begins to wane. I have responsibilities. I have not abandoned those that depend on me. I am not completely shut off from the world. I am so wonderfully blessed with such wonderful temperatures on this mid October day. Its amazing what one can discover when it is quiet. A quiet reside in a quiet wood helps to cultivate a quiet mind. I recall the phrase from my days of Christian ministry when we spoke of some who were, "So heavenly minded, that they were no earthly good." A meditation retreat has the opposite effect. You come away more observant and more quiet than when...