Cat in a bag....

My mind / my stomach is acting like a cat in a bag scratching for release.
Received a call mid evening Sunday night and as is the custom I let the machine pick it up. It was a brief call, broken and halted from my brother in law in New York. My younger sister (48) had a stroke. Out of four children, not the one you would think of first when considering any one of us as being a candidate for a stroke.
My first thought was of how this could be an inconvenience.
My second, what a selfish lout I am.
My third, what a pain in the ass my siblings are.
I find it (??) in that after my mother died....

My oldest sister was pissed at the younger because she grabbed everything that she wanted from the house before returning home.

My oldest sister was pissed (at me) because I would not back her up in her plan to take the executor of the estate position from my older brother and shift it to her fiance' (a lawyer) Needless to say, she was pissed at my older brother for not giving it up.

My older brother resisted my efforts to help him with the physical removing and closing of the estate only to call me on Christmas week for a full speed ahead. Due to my busy schedule, I suggested after New Years. His response was mean and vicious and he has not spoken with me to this day.

This Christmas will make three years.

The younger has made some attempts at keeping in touch with me. This has been a little difficult on my end because she always thinks of me as the brother of her youth. That was over thirty years ago. Also, she is a far right Christan now, and always has that motive (to rescue me) on her plate as well.
It has come to my attention during the last year or so that they are all talking with one another and have socialized on several occasions. I am the odd man out.


I don't want to dissect it. I don't feel obligated to. I pray for my sister to be be be at peace. The first thirty days will tell how well she will be able make a return to her old self. She is not at all well. She is in intensive care but is listed as stable.

I feel vacant. Nothing to offer. If she calls for me, I will go.

The all embracing, open door, full of grace person, is for now, damaged goods. Or not. I just felt one day that I could no longer tolerate bad behavior. Unfortunately, this judgement cut off most of the family and several neighbors. Rolled the rugs in!
Everyone views me as warm, caring and sensitive. I am.

But fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.


cape said…
i think we have rights to choose who we surround ourselves with and its hard when family members have a negative influence on us and we feel the only way to survive it is to close the door. i wish we all were bigger and could tolerate more..just in general in the world. but in practice..not so easy. i'm sorry about your sis. maybe its time to make peace. i dunno.
Don Iannone said…
Tim, first sorry to hear about your sister and I wish her well. I sense the difficulty in all this for you. I'm sorry about that too. I can relate.

Go with an open heart. A blessings awaits you and others...