Well, I'm off for an interview at the Car Dealership. I can't help but feel like I'm being punished. Me? Working as a car salesman? I don't have the job yet. Just the thought of interviewing with them makes me ill. I have often compared my experience with that of Jack Crabbe in Little Big Man. I find myself experiencing major direction changes in my life/occupation that require that I adapt, all the while trying to maintain that sense of being that is often contrary to the task at hand.
Maybe I'm really a real asshole in disquise and this job will help me come to terms with my assholishness. Maybe I'll redefine the entire art of car salesmenship. Maybe I won't get the job and I'll sink into poverty. Maybe, maybe, maybe.....This time around, I am having a most difficult time in watching what may come. Knots in the gut. Sleeplessness/sleepiness. Waking from sleep with an anxiety attack. What the hell? I suck!