tao1776

There is a degree in comfort in owning a few sacred cows. It lends comfort. We believe in our sacred cow and will never allow ourselves or others to question their sacredness. To commit to something greater than ourselves lessens our degree of responsibility. Instead of self responsibility, we cling to the ideas of a person we like, to the ideals of a political party, to our definition of ourselves. We hold fast to a view only because it's decribed along side a label we have clung to. We cling to an ideal without ever really examining it It is easier to have our sacred cow remain a security blanket. Ah, the human need to belong. It's a well understood psychological trait used by the advertising world, the military, and any other machine dedicated to self regeneration. Happy employees of Enron with the corporate logo on their cups and shirts don't feel so secure now. People either are capable of thinking for themselves, or they are not. The machine places it's trust in...

On this Memorial Day; My Dad who ended the war as a POW in Bad Orb, Germany. His buddy, who survived the beaches of Normandy. My cousin, who returned from Vietnam, a man with unshakable ghosts that eventually gained the victory over him. To Daniel Shays, a man who believed in the spirit of 1776, only to serve his days in exile.

It was great to see the sun all ablaze this morning. Not for the same reason as some Taoist guys I know, mind you. They are developing their practice of sungazing. The practice has long been a documented Taoist practice. East Indians and some Native Americans have perfected the art as well. But, I digress. I do that a lot! I need to get up early and get moving. I am in a degree of pain every day. I did come to a point where one Alleve a day kept it cool. Then I had that A- Fib attack last August and wound up in ICU for a couple of days. No more Alleve..If that's how you spell it. Not trying to do a product endorsement here. But it seems it reduces the effectivness of some other medications. So, lately my legs feel like two stumps unless I'm moving. When I go to bed, it sucks bad. Might explain my mood lately. Might not. When the weather is better, it helps. I posted a joke link on Bush. Thought it was pretty funny. I avoid politics on the blog due to my belief that if you'r...

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A Blogger, whom I visit daily, stated recently that the instrumental piece of Layla always calmed her down. You know how you read something like that and it flies into your subconscious? I never gave it much thought. Last night, I went to bed around 1 a.m. Being laid off offers that little piece of luxury. The wind was blowing hard through the trees and the rain bounced off my tin porch roof. The wind always does something to me. It's an unexplained sense of awe that settles right in the pit of my stomach. Mysterious callings. Especially at night. So, I opened the bedroom window to listen to the wind play the trees and settled down for sleep. Then Layla hit me. The first time I heard the song was in the summer of 1971. FM was almost unheard of. It was late at night and I was curled up into the arms of a slight girl two years my elder. The radio was set on WABC from New York city, an AM station that played cool tunes but would only come in at night. The station strength seemed to be...

I saw V standing at the bus stop the other day and I silently smiled to myself. In 1990 - 95 I worked in mental health. Primarily with men who suffered from schizophrenia. They ranged in age from 19 to 63. V came into the program when he was released from a hospital release program. He was moved into a three room apartment and would only leave for an occasional mandatory psych and med eval. He occasionally took a cab to the fast food drive through or bank. His priest came to the house to give him communion. I was assigned the task of increasing his socialization, help him with entitlements, and establish a treatment plan. V it seems, was housebound by anxiety. It took days to work himself up to take a cab ride anywhere. As he became more comfortable with me he described the feelings he got in his head and feet. He told me his heart would race and breathing was difficult. He stated that it was God punishing him. When I refuted that, he confessed that he thought it was the CIA or FBI or...

Here's Jimmy! 

I have a funny way of talking. I have often said, when Jimmy Stuart talks, everyone thinks it is cute. When I talk that way, everyone wants to finish my sentences. So, perhaps I would make a good character actor. I am beginning Part two of my book. Progress has been slow. Not that I lack the inspiration, I need sunshine. May began as very promissing. I even began getting up early and got busy early. I am a little worried about finding another full time job. Unemployment and competition for existing jobs are great. A girl told me the other day that she thought I was 40. I often get that. That's cool. But I am 50. I don't want to drive an hour to work anymore. I don't want to move. Perhaps, if I thought that my book would have a pay off, I'd work a little harder. Over the course of my unemployment since January 8th, I have slipped up to 2olbs over my ideal weight. I need to be 180 - 185. I might as well be 100lbs over. I'm supposed to camp overnight in Vermont on Frid...

I baked beans on Saturday morning. I used to bake them in the cold weather and through the winter but stopped in my attempts to lower my carb intake and keep a tighter reign on my blood sugar levels. I own three bean pots the biggest being four quarts. It's a simple recipe using yellow eye beans, which I prefer. They were, as usual, very good. So, we ate them for supper. Went out to the sportsman's club and had more when we returned. Had some for breakfast Sunday morning and later that night again for supper. We finished them up for breakfast this morning. Well, I can't describe the amount of flatulence the Lady and I experienced. Last night I had to open the window ( we are having the coldest May on record) and pointed my butt in the window's direction. We lit a little more incense around the house, more than normal hoping that the excess methane wouldn't cause a flash fire or backdraft. I took the Lady to the "Turtle" for a burger and a few beers as it w...

The moon through the trees is calling me, it always has, it always does. the wind in the trees is calling me, it always has, it always does. the sun, my sign, burns me. I need forever to be wary. the birds in the early morning signal life is a new, the peepers, the crickets at night, they do too. perception guides my feelings, until at long last, I realize that my feelings are mind. perception is mind. calling is mind. everything is relative and depends upon the mind and it's projections and interpretations.  

garden guarding gargoyle 

Is this a little too over the top? 

cool, eh? 

all the wars, all the deaths, all the blood that has been absorbed by mother earth. Has it made a difference? Does the world just keep turning and turning? People are born, die, dance and sing, love and hate....and all our struggle and stress will not change the inevitable fact that one day we are here, one day we are not.  

O bush warblers! Now you’ve shit all over my rice cake on the porch How can I possibly sleep This moonlit evening? Come, my friends, Let’s sing and dance All night long. I watch people in the world Throw away their lives lusting after things, Never able to satisfy their desires, Falling into deeper despair And torturing themselves. Even if they get what they want How long will they be able to enjoy it? For one heavenly pleasure They suffer ten torments of hell, Binding themselves more firmly to the grindstone. Such people are like monkeys Frantically grasping for the moon in the water And then falling into a whirlpool. How endlessly those caught up in the floating world suffer. Despite myself, I fret over them all night And cannot staunch my flow of tears. My legacy -- What will it be? Flowers in spring, The cuckoo in summer, And the crimson maples Of autumn...

Sometimes I wonder how others view me. I have many hits on my blog but few comments. I think, is my topic uncommentable? Disinteresting? Am I unlikeable? How am I viewed? I look forward to comments as they generate several responses from me 1) I don't feel so isolated 2) I learn from the views of others 3) I meet new and interesting people so...............leave some comments! Will ya!!!!!!

As you have seen, I am now driving a 1973 Type 14 Karmenn Ghia to the local car shows. It's a fun time as we see cars we forgot existed, talk cars and swap stories...generally, just hang out, bullshit, drink beer. 3o years ago (yes, I am that old - go figure) I owned a VW squareback brought back from Germany with a soldier who was stationed there in the late 60's. The speedometer was in kilometers and the style was much different than the backs in the st8's. With the size 15 Michilenn (sp?) tires it held the road well. During one off road trip with three other guys, we exited an old cart road and proceeded at full speed down a paved road we encountered. The road turned into down hill run that looped tightly to the right. Too tight and filled with road sand. It was obvious that we were about to slide over the sand and be tossed into the roadside trees. In a spontaneous act of brillance (desperation) I threw in the clutch, pulled up the e-brake and pulled the wheel to the lef...

Communities were once made up of people who needed to support one another. In the rural communities people devised methods to show that they were available and assessable. When someone new moved into town, a pie or some other such mark of hospitality was offered making the new comers feel welcome. Some people in small New England towns displayed a pineapple symbol on the front post as a sign of welcome sharing. Porches were once a place where you could sit and invite strollers to sit and visit for a spell. It was the summer version of the winter wood stove at the country store. A person sitting on his porch was an open invitation for visitors. It's interesting in noting the changes in society. I had my porch rebuilt. I love to sit and watch the world go by. Light my pipe, read a book, relax. My porch wraps around my house and is an integral part of it's design. Decks have replaced porches and it's reflective of the changes in society. Community is replaced with privacy with...

Looking through my back door at the chairs on the porch. 

Coming up the front stairs to my home, the front door welcomes you with a colorful spray. 

Tao1776 enjoying the porch & smoking his pipe while reading a book. 

Gourd filled with Pansies 

porch ornament 

V The passions of Bostwick The two men stood over a corpse that was thrown upon the top of an old meat cutter’s table With bare hands and garden tools, they skillfully pulled the dead man’s innards out onto the floor, while a pig calmly grazed through the man’s remains. Mr Bostwick did not look as gentlemanly now. Not as he did on his trips back to England. His eyes were glazed while his arms and torso were covered in blood. His long fingers seemed destined for a surgeon’s calling. His usual neat and trimmed moustache drooped in the heat and sweat while his nose flared within the heat and stench. It seemed that he enjoyed his occupation immensely. The victory of Britain over China, in the war of opium and trade agreements, opened four more ports in1842. Regardless of the English victory, opium was still considered banned by the Manchu Government and to be caught smuggling opium into the heart of China could be a torturous event that one hoped to avoid at all costs. "What better wa...

In the mid 1880's a woman in mid-state Vermont gave birth to twin boys. The labor was long and arduous and her bleeding was profuse. She died a short time later. The father was unable to care for the infants and they were seperately absorbed into two local families taking on their names. One of the twin boys was my grandfather. In his adulthood he moved to south central Massachusetts. He married and had four children. Three girls and my father. He suffered from severe melancholia and drank hard to find his way out. He was abusive and his wife often had to provide for the family. A few years before the great depression, a delivery man would come by and drop off groceries that my grandmother had ordered from the local market. He would always place a few extra items neatly tucked away which she would discover in the unpacking. They developed a relationship that soon had him moving to northern Vermont to prepare a place for them. The four kids were old enough to take care of themselves...

Wednesday is date night. Wine. A nice meal. Tonight, we sat outside. The temperature was perfect. Candles and a small fire helped to shoo away the May flies. A quarter moon sat with us. 

If I were to count the number of candles throughout my home, I bet the number would surprise you! 

A fire lightly glows and adds the smell of smoke to the evening. 

With the camera set for a night shot, the moon finds itself transformed. 

sitting at the picnic table behind my house we sip a bottle of Shiraz. My pipe is filled with Black Cordial and the quarter moon hangs low in the eastern sky. 

IV Gods and men The anger of Bai Tuomu made him feel like a viscous animal and he evoked a growl and a grimace of teeth. "Shit stick!" he screamed at his abuser. The man at the head of the procession cut away from the lead and returned to Bai’s position on the ground. Without a word being spoken he stood and looked down at the visibly shocked Bai with the stern eyes of a punishing god. Bai immediately pressed his palms together and placed them tightly against his forehead bowing in obeisance before the Mandarin’s procession leader. Bai had entered the walled city of Canton in the hope of finding his cousin Feng Yunshan. It was reported that Feng was traveling with Hong Xiuquan, the man who was telling eager listeners of his meeting with the Christian God and his son Jesus. The streets within the walled city were paved with slabs of granite, each one intricately fit together like a jig-saw puzzle. .Each street had its own gate that is locked every night and posted with sentrie...

III The voyage "Get up, you stupid, stupid boy!" yelled Miss Ainsworth as she helped him to his feet with the tug of an ear. "Master Bostwick plans to be here by seven. I want you looking presentable. And try to take that sick look of your face. No one wants a boy with the look of death upon his face." Isaac Stearns rubbed his ear and watched as Miss Ainsworth left the dormitory room. He wondered how a woman with so big a bottom could manage the stairs to his room so quietly. At fifteen years old, Isaac stood a lean six feet tall and it was hard for the school to give him pants that fit properly. Most of the clothes distributed at Coll’s School for the Education of Young Men, came from charitable institutions, closed estates and church donations. It appeared that the best of the lot went to Headmaster Dillingham. Richard Bostwick periodically came by the school to enlist the aide of any young Christian men to accompany him to the missions in China. Rumors had arisen...

Little feet, so sweet. How many steps will she take in a lifetime? 

Do not leave comments on Blogs when you're drunk...

The Brother of Jesus "Does heaven revolve? Does earth stand still? Do the sun and moon jockey for position? Who controls all of this? Who ties it altogether? Who dwells in inactivity, Yet impels things on their course? May it be that there are levers and threads That drive them inexorably? Or may it be that they just keep turning And are unable to stop by themselves? Do the clouds make the rain? Or does the rain make the clouds? Who bestows them so generously? Who dwells in inactivity, Yet urges things on to all this lusty joy? The winds arise in the north And, first to the east, then to the west. They drift back and forth above us. Who breathes them? Who dwells in inactivity, Yet does this fanning? Chuang Tzu The hills and farmland of Hua, some thirty miles north of Canton, grow lavish crops of rice, wheat and hemp. If faithfully tended and when the rains and irrigation partner their effort, the soil nourishes a variety of beans, peas and cabbage. Bright oranges and red/yellow pe...

I will be posting chapters of my book on occasion. Please remember that this is not a final edit...(I have yet to hire an editor) Feedback is encouraged!

.........and all the men and woman are merely players; They have all their exits and entrances... The Players: my wife's brother and her sister my wife my son my daughter my niece my sister and dozens of extras! A slice of my life....wife's brother calls. I am the trustee of a little bit of $$ for him. He is 42 and is what they call today, special needs. 42 going on 15. So you know what that means. Last summer he met a girl and went into arrears on rent, electricity, etc... the things guys do for love....when his $$ dried up, she kicked him to the curb. So, he's freaking out and confessed all. Now I need to help him straighten that mess out. Wife's sister calls and leaves a drunken message. We don't associate anymore. Five years ago, as we set restraints on my oldest daughter and she rebelled, this sister involved herself by telling said daughter that if things at home were too rough, she could move in with them. We made it absolutely clear that they should not invo...

Thinking of some "old rock" albums that I miss. We have a used CD shop nearby and I'm gonna put these on my list: Dark side of the moon Led Zep II & Houses of the Holy Smokin Machine Head This should balance out my love for Patty Griffin My love for Celtic Music and the Blues............................................................

sometimes it helps to look at things through the other eyes......

Fred hangs in the kitchen adding a little levity 

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Noble on the prowl 

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Greenery in the home... 

My wife's fern 

My mother's fern came home with me after she died. She started it from a cutting about fifty years ago 

my meditation altar....hasn't seen much use lately...