I used to hang out down at Jack's Pool Hall You go down there and don't do nothin' at all If you wanted to play some cards there was a game in the back If you wanted to shot or somethin' you went and talked to Jack If you had a little money you was a grade A fool There was a guy down there who used to shoot a little pool
Rack 'em up Till' the day he was dead
that all they ever said
Rack 'em up
He didn't own a TV set, didn't own a car He ate what whatever Jack was makin' back behind the bar They said he had a wife, but she left him in tears He hadn't been home in twenty five years
Rack 'em up
They came from all over thinkin' they we're pretty hot
Put all their money on the table, wanna play the best we got
Nine in the corner, five in the side
Take a hundred dollar bill and just let it ride
I tell him listen son, ain't no disaster
There ain't no shame in being beat by a master ...Johnny Lang

As a professional observer of the mind, it has never ceased to amaze the bejesus out of me. There was a time that the Lady and me would put two quarters up, win the table, and play all night. We played for the fun of the game. If we became confident enough to try to and capitalize on our ability by placing a wager for drinks or money, the game was off. It became competition. It altered the position of my mind. We lost.
For me, it is still all so true. If I play the game for the joy of the game, I am very good at pool...darts.... horseshoes....But something in me, pride or a lack of confidence makes it impossible for me to be competitive for competition sake. Even fighting. I cannot stand toe to toe and try to out maneuver an opponent. I am scared of failing...or getting hurt...or perhaps being embarrassed. I only know to go for the jugular..(figuratively and literally)
There are certain thoughts that stifle a natural flow. The mind directs so much. If you imagine peeling a lemon or biting a pencil, does it make your mouth feel weird? A guy checking out a babe makes his crotch come to attention. The mind directs the body sensations and much of our reaction. Terms like pain in the neck and pain in the ass are based on this observation.
In Chi Kung, the mind directs the chi. Sort of a controlled movement of the mind's ability to transform the actions of the body's ability. At it's highest form, we can manipulate the body to respond and find ourselves less in the position to respond to the environment and circumstances around us.
BUT>>>>here I am....nervous as a red headed step child on his first day of school...as I set off for my first day at a new job.

Comments

transience said…
and you know what? you'll do great. why? because you're tim and you're down with the tao.
Rowan said…
I guess its the old saying: mind over matter.
capegirl said…
that's the 'Way' LOL Good luck!