Happy Birthday to ME!!!!! or "bubbles in a stream"

August 2nd is my birthday. Although I do have documentation that places that wonderful day on August 3rd. May have been adopted. I'm the only blue eyed, fair haired of the bunch.
My last name never set well with me. It was always with a measure of unease that accompanied the stating of it. Still does. I did learn in my late teens that my last name was not a name of lineage. My great grandmother died while giving birth to twin boys. The two boys were given up to two separate families that gave them their last names. So my last name comes through adoption and not by bloodline.
It was four years ago that me mum died. It was rather unexpected. I think we buried her a day before my birthday that year. Six months later my position as a company manager was eliminated. During this period, my brother and sister (I'll exclude the younger sister) had fits regarding the estate. My older sister wanted me to make a stand with her against my brother who was named the executor of the estate when my father was still alive. I would not choose sides. She has not spoken with me since. My brother acted as though, "Nobody knows the troubles I've seen" and at one point called me and the lady every name in the book because the stress of the estate was too great for him.
You know, think of all the people that you have known in your life. Those that you have loved. Those that you barely knew. Those that you may have disliked or even hated. Celebrities, Heads of State, those that you admired from afar.
The water babbles over rocks, around trees. In sun and in shade. Bubbles are created whereby they float downstream only to burst a few seconds later. This is our life. Where did the bubbles come from? Where did they go? I remember watching them form and slide down to another level. Almost laughing like children they were just bubbles in a stream.
I have, at times, lamented over my perception that I've done nothing: accomplished nothing: been no where. If I compare my dance card with yours, are you more happy that yours is filled and mine is almost empty? If so, that reflects on you, not me. And the same is true of me. If I look aside, at this one or that one, what profit does it provide for anyone to make useless comparisons? Once the bubble has burst, the score cards have no merit.
Although I do believe (for the lack of a better word) in merit. I just do the best that I can do in any given situation; and then let it go. (Its the letting go that has come a little harder these days)
Well, I'm off to the Connecticut river valley of Massachusetts. (the land of Eden) I have a few days off. I have the all air cooled show on August 2nd and hope to reward the "Little Hottie" with another trophy.


Loralee Choate said…
Happy birthday, Tim!

It is unfortunate, but so many families go through this after the death of parents.

I don't even want to be on the planet when my parents die. It is going to be hell with my siblings, I just KNOW IT.


Still...You are wonderful the hottie is a cutie and I hope you have a very good birthday, my friend.

{illyria} said…
you're a Leo, too! hello, fellow Leo. and happy birthday--that would be tomorrow on my GMT+8! i don't know much, but what i do know is that your dance card has always been full. you've touched lives, tim, and that is always something you can look back on.

hope it's a great one, doll. xx.
Merelyme said…
happy belated birthday! i hope you have a grand time on your trip. blow some bubbles!
jess said…
fighting is almost never worth it. never. fighting over an estate?

should be illegal. i hope y'all can work that out someday.

i hope you had too much cake...or at least a nice cold one on your special day.
Anonymous said…
It just wiped my comment >.> Silly error.

Happy Belated Birthday.

You post reminded me of a section of a book called Nothing Special: living zen. It spoke of whirlpools in the river of life. The stability of the whirlpool is only temporary - and yet we often want life to stay the same. We don't often realise that even the whirlpool contains the same water as the rest of the river.

Thank you for your comment on my blog. I guess the overall message is for us to wake up in the moment; rather than doing the rote routines.

Stars Above,
Tim said…
Thanks loralee (may I still call you Rubik?)
Ah....my heart's desire; (((illyria.))) ALWAYS honored to hear from you!!!
merelyme - you rock!
Jess - no cake. I'm tryin to get back to no less than 177 - no more than 188....gotta stay healthy, y'know!
Rose - always a treat to hear from you. Let's get together over some tea and speak of the craft and the taoist overlays. Good time!
DarkenedPoems said…
Happy Birthday to you nonetheless. I wouldn't want to be alive when my parents died. Yet my parents wouldn't want to be alive to see me die either, I'm sure. If there was some chance, that in a twisted turn of events. I ended up dead at the same time and same location as my mom and dad. And not only that, but before I died, I would have been fully aware of my parents and would have been spending time with them.

That way we'd have gotten to see each other one last time. Without having to live on without the other.