And this too shall pass......
There is a deep truth to this statement that escapes as quickly as a held breath. Buddhists have long known that true awareness provides deep insight into this truth. As stated in Taosim, The only constant IS change. Meditation allows one to view thoughts as they arise, linger and then pass as clouds do on a summer day. As the Pagans say, As above, same below. We do have storms. Sometimes they ruin our plans and it rains on our parade. But we begin to learn to stand and flow as in Tai Chi. We move with the change. Advance, retreat, stand.
Last night, I came across some very disturbing news. When I retired for the evening, I felt the adreneline cruise through my bloodstream. It is now, very unusual for me to have a restless night. My anxiety was equal to panic and withstood any sense of reason. My practice, as sporatic as it has been since my lay off and subsequent difficulties, abled me to "watch" instead of "react." I saw the clock go to one, and two a.m. and finally I slept. Troubled, but I slept. I did worry about how long I would be able to keep pace with this sort of anxiety. I watched that as well.
Today was a new day.
I recalled the books and studied of Claire Weekes regarding anxiety. She noted that when a person has an "anxiety attack" their nerves become ultra sensitve to any other jolt of adreneline; much like a punch in the shoulder. After a few punches, it is natural for your shoulder to be sensitive. But when it is the muscle of your body and mind, in reaction to some intense and sometimes repressed stimuli, we prolong the anxiety; and add to it, by our reaction, creating a conditioned response. Things change quickly when we can say, in a recognized but detatched response, this is normal. Perhaps not very enjoyable, but a very normal fight or flight response. We learn to experience the arrival, the feeling, and then the departure of our thoughts; and hence our reactions arise and depart as well.
Non Clinging. This too shall pass.
Last night, I came across some very disturbing news. When I retired for the evening, I felt the adreneline cruise through my bloodstream. It is now, very unusual for me to have a restless night. My anxiety was equal to panic and withstood any sense of reason. My practice, as sporatic as it has been since my lay off and subsequent difficulties, abled me to "watch" instead of "react." I saw the clock go to one, and two a.m. and finally I slept. Troubled, but I slept. I did worry about how long I would be able to keep pace with this sort of anxiety. I watched that as well.
Today was a new day.
I recalled the books and studied of Claire Weekes regarding anxiety. She noted that when a person has an "anxiety attack" their nerves become ultra sensitve to any other jolt of adreneline; much like a punch in the shoulder. After a few punches, it is natural for your shoulder to be sensitive. But when it is the muscle of your body and mind, in reaction to some intense and sometimes repressed stimuli, we prolong the anxiety; and add to it, by our reaction, creating a conditioned response. Things change quickly when we can say, in a recognized but detatched response, this is normal. Perhaps not very enjoyable, but a very normal fight or flight response. We learn to experience the arrival, the feeling, and then the departure of our thoughts; and hence our reactions arise and depart as well.
Non Clinging. This too shall pass.
Comments
my fears- my worries, my angst,
like all the things I have claimed
in the past shall pass like rain clouds-
know o baba that an agitated worried fearfull state can not be indefinitely sustained- it shall pass.