Writers Block - 100 Drafts

It has come to my attention that in my five plus years of blogging and my more than 900 blog posts, there exists just shy of 100 drafts: unpublished and incomplete stories, thoughts and random musings. Here are but a few...........

I've come to believe that most people do the best that they can do. People are composed of emotion and reactions and are knocked about by what they are attracted to and what they want to avoid. It really is that simple.
Some people do seek to climb out of the world of Pavlov's dogs and Skinner's pigeons and look to attach themselves to some discipline, moral code, ideology. This however is still not the way. They identify themselves by the labels that they have attached themselves to. And...yes, I see it in every community. It isn't just the "Christians". I've seen people identify with labels such as, "bi-polar" "computer programmer" "republican".....Oh, these are just words we use to identify who we are to each other! ......Examine this....It is much more than that!  3/12/05

We hold these truths to be self-evident: That all men are created equal; that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights; that among these are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness; that, to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed; that whenever any form of government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles, and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness.  6/17/05

'First they came for the Communists, but I was not a Communist, so I said nothing. Then they came for the Social Democrats, but I was not a Social Democrat, so I did nothing. Then came the trade unionists, but I was not a trade unionist. And then they came for the Jews, but I was not a Jew, so I did little. 6/22/05

"The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge, while an ordinary man takes everything as a blessing or as a curse." --Don Juan 3/12/06

When I was in elementary school, I discovered that I could write to NASA and that they would send up to date pictures and press releases from the space program. Unlike those of my age that followed baseball, I followed the space program.
In 1986, when you would have thought that I may have out grown this phase of childhood, I watched with eager anticipation Christa McAuliffe train for the shuttle Challenger. I can clearly remember coming down the stairs at work in anticipation of an extended lunch hour with the Lady. I was going home for lunch today. On my descent down from he laboratory a coworker told me of the explosion. 6/13/06

When I was fourteen, my father's mother died in upstate Vermont. It was quite a trek back then driving old Interstate 5 into the land of milk and honey. It was a gaudy affair. It was a scramble trying to find a catholic church and a priest that would accept someone who divorced one man and then remarried another.
This was the one and only time that I met my father's extended family of great aunts and uncles. This was my first clash with impermanence. While visiting my father's aunt, I studied a very old family picture, taken on a farm, of my great aunt and her family. My eye was drawn to a most beautiful girl that stood in the front row. Her beauty blazed upon the mind and stayed with me. The now eighty plus woman pointed to herself in the picture. It was her. This stuck with me for days. As I stood looking at the picture, I couldn't help but experience an erection. The juxtaposition of seeing her then and seeing her now was an early awakening. 8/18/06

In thinking of all the Thanksgiving Holidays that I have lived through, (yes, there have been fifty-two of them) several things come to mind.
My father worked in the kitchen of the State Mental Hospital working every Thanksgiving day. He would arrive home about one hour before the family dinner was ready. By this time, he had seen close to two hundred turkeys and carving ours could be, at times, more tedious than he could bare. The State had containers of mixed nuts that were scooped into wax paper bags, folded, and then stapled shut with one staple. They were, by far, the best mixed nuts that I have ever enjoyed. Ever - to this day! My Mother would nag him accusing of stealing. He felt justified in taking a dozen or so bags every year. The kids glee at having these nus pleased him but my Mother eventually won out and the nuts came to an end.
I remember when Thanksgiving was a time when everything shut down. Few cars on the road. No stores opened their doors and I recall several major snowstorms with snow that fell feet deep.
As I grew to a teenager, it seemed a lonely, almost desolate time with all being so quiet. A local FM station began a tradition of running Alice's restaurant in it's entirety. It was a point of connectivity as I listened each year believing that perhaps peers known and unknown were also listening. The Beatles held the charts and folk seemed unfamiliar. But Arlo was clearly a hippie with an anti establishment message, making it a very popular listen. My cousin was in Vietnam. I loved Jimi Hendrix. The world seemed so big and in such turmoil.
When I arrived  back home in my late teens and early twenties to once again celebrate Thanksgiving, I came home as a Christian, seeking the ministry, I gave the dinner prayer with earnest thanks. I got married, started a family, and the tradition of going home continued. With our growing families and the stress of going home each year intensified, we began to have Thanksgiving at home. 11/22/06

As an astute observer of This Being Human....I often find it difficult being in social and/or business situations. I have developed a combination of discernment and intuition that can at times, be both a blessing and a curse. Simular to reading minds I suppose, but not really, I sometimes have an X-ray like ability to see the defences, faces, images, and shows of bravado that people use to show others who they are. It is like watching characters in a play, when all the while you know all of the performers and can see them for what they really are; characters portrayed by real bu others exist underneath. 12/06/06

There are so many intelligent people out there. There are many people that make me laugh. There are those whose lives and experiences lend a sense of awe while some, respect and others feelings of love and of compassion. I appreciate this, however
"What I am most longing for and thirsting after is inspiration.
I've been searching for the word that best describes my longing, so I decided to take a closer look.
The act of inspiring or breathing in; breath; specif. (Physiol.), the drawing of air into the lungs, accomplished in mammals by elevation of the chest walls and flattening of the diaphragm; -- the opposite of expiration.
The act or power of exercising an elevating or stimulating influence upon the intellect or emotions; the result of such influence which quickens or stimulates; as, the inspiration of occasion, of art, etc.
A supernatural divine influence on the prophets, apostles, or sacred writers, by which they were qualified to communicate moral or religious truth with authority; a supernatural influence which qualifies men to receive and communicate divine truth; also, the truth
communicated. (wiktionary)
The roots of the word can be found in ancient Greek, early Christian Latin.
Ancient Greek = qeovpneustos
enthousiazein God Breathed
Early Latin = spirare ... common translations are;
Aspire - rough breathing
Conspire - breathing together
Expire- out breathe
Inspire- breathe in
Perspire- through breathing
Respire - again breathe
Spirit- to breathe
Transpire - across, beyond, through breathe   6/19/07

I have been unable to attend any car shows this year due to the Ghia's ill health. If I had the funds, her troubles would have been cleared up by now. I could have bought a new carb outright or I could have hired out some of the work to be done by an air-cooled VW professional.
This is true of our own health too. With the proper funds and/or insurance, we can address many health issues more aggressively and also take advantage of many preventative care programs.
As a former manager that had employees working under my supervision, I saw all too well the effects of ill health from marginal health care. For years, corporate headquarters kept us under their "self insured" plan. After years of advocating for a real health care plan, they allowed me to seek a broker to help us find an affordable plan for my Massachusetts employees as opposed to that which was being doled out to the corporate North Carolina employees.
One of my men was an inner city dude with a limited education. He was a hard worker that sought to earn a decent wage for a days work. He was, like me, an insulin dependent diabetic. Although he was eligible to have the company health plan paid for by the company for single employees, he opted for the services of the free clinic. He received his insulin and syringes free of charge. But there was no education to speak of regarding the importance of diet, exercise and of what foods had the quickest impact of your blood sugar levels. White bread and cheap soda was regularly consumed by him and he learned to compensate by adjusting his insulin levels according to what he was eating. Whereas I use 35 units twice a day, his use of insulin changed daily. Not a healthy choice. But that was all he knew and that was all that the free clinic had to offer. 8/22/07

At the young age of about seven I discovered that my Grandfather, was not in fact my father's "real" father. I learned that his mother had divorced her first husband and married the man that I had affectionately called my Pepe'. This trickle of information was the beginning of what I came to know about my family history. To this day there are so many pieces left unknown just waiting to be discovered.
I met my father's father only a few times. I discovered that he had been a drinker and very abusive. He suffered from severe depression. He had an older brother as my grandfather was the second born of of twins. The mother died giving birth. I also discovered that my given last name is not my name of birthright and neither was it his. The older twin boy was given over to one family; and he took their last name. The younger, my grandfather, was given to another. The last names of the two children being different from each other and different from that of their father. There was no legal adoption or name change. My last name begins there.
Doing a search through my daughter's college library database ancestry search, I did finally learn the names of my great-grandparents; and the name that I have longed to know. What was the mother's name? Her name was Sophia. His was Alexandro. At the time of the twins birth, the church records list them with their correct last name. 12/01/07

Is "sandwiched" in. May feel squeezed out of a position of privilege and significance.
May be even-tempered, "take it or leave it" attitude. May have trouble finding a place or become a fighter of injustice. 3/10/08

Liberals all too often seem to be pointing out what is wrong with America while conservatives seem to spend a lot of time pointing out what is wrong with liberals. The conservatives will proclaim an all or nothing mentality, "America. Love it or leave it," while the liberals shake their heads in shame over the blind eyed loyalty of the conservatives.
The American spirit of democracy and liberty, of faith, hope and charity, are also the foundations of Freemasonry and are founded upon the self evident truth that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. But these rights are bound by license and not by an unbridled freedom for us to do as you will.
With Freedom comes responsibility.
As stated by James Madison, "As long as the reason of man continues fallible, and he is at liberty to exercise it, different opinions will be formed."And that they are!
At the heart of the American spirit and that of Freemasonry, the guiding rudder is and should be that of faith, hope and charity; with the greatest of these being charity. As a group of Americans, or as with the Fraternity of Freemasons, we believe that we can overcome all odds (faith), we believe that we will endure troubled times (hope) and we believe that it is our responsibility to aid and assist others. (charity)
Albert Pike stated, "What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal."
These ideals are not alone Christan, but are found at the base of many faiths; whether or not it is the guiding rudder or found deep within the hold, it doesn't cease to exist among those that come to know the true religion: that compassion is the mind of the universe.
But idealism shouldn't be clouded by naivety either. In my youth, as I sought to discover the truths and ministry of Christianity, I encountered falsehoods and many bold statements and proclamations of dedication to God and to the community of believers. I could not believe that someone could make such statements and professions (unless they were true) out of fear and embarrassment and the possible judgement of God or from those they proclaimed to serve. But alas, there are those seated on the right and those that are seated on the left and those seated within all of humanity that know only of self preservation at the exclusion of and concern for others. And there are those within the walls of Freemasonry that know only self promotion in true Machiavellian form and will never know the bonds of true brotherly love.
Where then, should our focus be? Although there will always be those that that think they know what your responsibility is better than you do, "Friendship (and brotherhood and patriotism) is always a sweet responsibility; never an opportunity."
Which brings me to this idea of a Free Election.
With all of the smart, well experienced, seasoned and wise Americans that live and breahe within America, the two party system spits out from every election year the same ol' thing. (Sorry Obama fans...he's a chip off the ol' block)
We are so inundated with political opinion that we cannot escape the cult of personality and all that money buys to elect the final candidate. 3/22/08

........................more to follow