A Path with heart. A path of intention.
I sat down at my local sportsman's club the other night and found myself sharing a conversation with the mother of a friend. She is in the position of being a full time caregiver to her failing mother while her son at age 40, continues to behave much like a teenager while living under her roof. Meanwhile her siblings offer little support. She was feeling worn out as many caregiver's do and needed to unload. By my line of questioning and my unstated offer of a listening ear she had a lot on her plate that she readily shared.
At one point she stopped to ask me who I was and what I did for a living. I offered her a different perspective on the role of her mother, her son, her siblings and how it all related to her and she to them. With a clear view you understand your strengths and your weaknesses and wherein lies the balance and responsibility of all parties concerned. Ultimately you know when to hold them and when to fold them - you become less identified with your role and more aware of walking with the moment and find ways to make positive changes in lieu of being a hostage to a tough situation.
In return, she strongly encouraged me to follow my calling; whether it be as a counselor or chaplain - an idea that I easily dismissed. But the point is this:
It is easy to give counsel to another and difficult to take your own counsel. Physician, heal thyself?
...But tonight I did. If you remember this blogger post from several weeks ago, I spoke about the path of courage and of responsibility. We can stop in any given moment, day by day and say, "Okay. Now what"? In stead of wallowing in regret with what only exists in the past and being stuck in a dis-associative state of escapism over how things seem today and gasping onto a passing branch of hope for a better future, we have this:
I took my bicycle out for a therapeutic lung pumping/leg pumping seven mile spin. My heart and mind was filled with angst and loneliness. The wife of over thirty years is gone. My kids have shot off into the stratosphere of who knows where. Everything has changed beyond belief. The details are not worth the telling of this oft told story. Divorce is painful.
"Okay, now what"?
Take the path of heart; of responsibility. I pedaled and pedaled and noticed my breath pump in unison with my legs, the pedals, the wheels, the trail, the trees and the occasional passersby. I realized the simplicity of what I already knew and I took my own counsel.
Now what?
At one point she stopped to ask me who I was and what I did for a living. I offered her a different perspective on the role of her mother, her son, her siblings and how it all related to her and she to them. With a clear view you understand your strengths and your weaknesses and wherein lies the balance and responsibility of all parties concerned. Ultimately you know when to hold them and when to fold them - you become less identified with your role and more aware of walking with the moment and find ways to make positive changes in lieu of being a hostage to a tough situation.
In return, she strongly encouraged me to follow my calling; whether it be as a counselor or chaplain - an idea that I easily dismissed. But the point is this:
It is easy to give counsel to another and difficult to take your own counsel. Physician, heal thyself?
...But tonight I did. If you remember this blogger post from several weeks ago, I spoke about the path of courage and of responsibility. We can stop in any given moment, day by day and say, "Okay. Now what"? In stead of wallowing in regret with what only exists in the past and being stuck in a dis-associative state of escapism over how things seem today and gasping onto a passing branch of hope for a better future, we have this:
Mind creates the world;
what you see arises with your thoughts.
If you speak and act with a confused mind,
trouble will follow you as certainly
as a cart follows the ox that pulls it.
what you see arises with your thoughts.
If you speak and act with a confused mind,
trouble will follow you as certainly
as a cart follows the ox that pulls it.
Mind creates the world;
what you see arises with your thoughts.
If you speak and act with a clear mind,
happiness will follow you as certainly
as your own shadow in sunlight.
what you see arises with your thoughts.
If you speak and act with a clear mind,
happiness will follow you as certainly
as your own shadow in sunlight.
-Buddha's Dhammapada-
I took my bicycle out for a therapeutic lung pumping/leg pumping seven mile spin. My heart and mind was filled with angst and loneliness. The wife of over thirty years is gone. My kids have shot off into the stratosphere of who knows where. Everything has changed beyond belief. The details are not worth the telling of this oft told story. Divorce is painful.
"Okay, now what"?
Take the path of heart; of responsibility. I pedaled and pedaled and noticed my breath pump in unison with my legs, the pedals, the wheels, the trail, the trees and the occasional passersby. I realized the simplicity of what I already knew and I took my own counsel.
Now what?
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