Where the rubber hits the road

-
A chimpanzee who goes to the library everyday
is not intelligent,
he is just a chimpanzee
in a library.

I've been sick for the last week. No fever. Just lungs full of phlegm and the feeling that there's a cinder block on my chest. You can surely bet that any cold I manage to catch will readily convert to pneumonia. I guess that the point that I am trying to make here is that the above quote is meant to apply to me.
I have known some level of pain and illness and disability for much of the last twenty plus years. I have known pain as a teacher and as a friend. It taught me well; and compassionately. There comes a moment in time when the student is able to share from that of which he has learned. There is wisdom, and experience; self knowledge and a deep compassion because of it.
I am becoming more aware of how little I have to offer. I am empty.
In the story of Kwai Chang Caine his life's direction was abruptly altered in a moment of anger and revenge. It is incredulous to me how so much work and concentration and transcendence can be lost in a moment.
I too experienced that moment. The last decade has shown highs and lows but little of my emptiness. But I know. And I know why.
I think that the teacher is reminding me that he has never really been gone too far from me. I must return to him before he decides to return to me.
I don't think that I could bear that lesson again.

Comments

Sophia said…
I used to think that every time I messed up I'd have to go backwards and start over from the very beginning. That's not what happens when you're hiking up a path. If you fall you get back up and dust yourself off; you keep hiking forward. You don't just suddenly find yourself back at the start of the path. That's how the spiritual path is - you fall, and while it may slow you down temporarily, you still get up and keep going. You still get to keep all the experience you gained from all your past lessons.

You have a lot to offer. There is more to this than meets the eye!
7:26 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

TaoSpring - pallet chicken coop

-
Image
I had less than a month to build a suitable coop and chicken run. I had very little money to work with. Having seen many coops and out buildings that people have assembled using scrap pallets, I thought that I would give it a try. Starting with two 4 x 8 pallets as the floor, I assembled all the available pallets that I could find. This is the frame of the coop. It will measure approximately 8ft x 8ft. Saltbox style roof will be 9 feet at the front and will taper down to 8 1/4 feet in the back. My inspiration is drawn from the bottom photo   seen here. I varied the plans to accommodate the unevenness of available pallet size. In a perfect world a 4' x 4' pallet would make pallet building as easy as playing with Lego's. Unfortunately downsizing has effected everything. Most pallets now measure 48" x 40" and the solid 4' by 4' pallets are usually reclaimed by their owners. Oh, they're out there, but I am looking to build for as little
Read more

Seasons - garden update

-
Image
This summer has been very unusual. But I've seen it all before. There are times that the seasons act according to form and there are times that they don't. There have been more days of rain and clouds than sunny summer days. In point of fact, we had warmer days in May. We got started rather late but as you can see things are progressing in spite of all the wet weather.
Read more

I hate bad news

-
Image
Sunday morning......Saturday night was spent around the fire with about ten people, little scotch, little beer, good conversation, shrimp, cheese & crackers, sliced apple and smoked gouda. So, getting up this a.m. was a little difficult and then the phone rang. It was my oldest daughter. My niece's baby died. Her father was holding her on the couch and gave her a bottle at 11 p.m. When he awoke, she was beside him on the couch dead. They don't know if he slept on her and she smothered or died from natural causes. She was 2 months old. We don't see as much death in little children as we once did. We have very old cemetaries tucked in throughout New England with many little children, sometimes from the same family that died from disease. This kind of death is different. How does anyone deal with this? If it is ruled an accident due to smothering, how does the father manage? How does my neice ever be able to look at him? Damn, I hate bad news......
Read more