In its simplest form, Buddhism would state that our experience of struggle in this life is often based on our desire for things to be other than how they are and an equal aversion towards how things are.

A Taoist story tells of an old man who accidentally fell into the river rapids leading to a high and dangerous waterfall. Onlookers feared for his life. Miraculously, he came out alive and unharmed downstream at the bottom of the falls. People asked him how he managed to survive. "I accommodated myself to the water, not the water to me. Without thinking, I allowed myself to be shaped by it. Plunging into the swirl, I came out with the swirl. This is how I survived."

We talk to ourselves incessantly about our world. In fact we maintain our world with our internal talk. And whenever we finish talking to ourselves about ourselves and our world, the world is always as it should be. We renew it, we rekindle it with life, we uphold it with our internal talk. Not only that, but we also choose our paths as we talk to ourselves. Thus we repeat the same choices over and over until the day we die, because we keep on repeating the same internal talk over and over until the day we die. A warrior is aware of this and strives to stop his internal talk.........The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.
Carlos Castaneda

I often think of the struggle, the conflict, the suffering, that I have experienced at any given moment in the last many years of my linear history and how it is that the outcome is always the same; no matter what my emotional state. In point of fact, my struggle often weakened me and clouded my vision. As CC noted, "We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same."

My amount of frustration by how things are and my frustration in trying to avoid what is, is tiring. Swimming against the current can be exhausting.

Well, my oldest daughter is moving back home to save some money and get back on track. Once the decision was made, everyone was very happy. Like families of old, everyone is home except the oldest son. My granddaughter, Brielle, loves it here. She has room to play, a play yard with a play house and we're just as giddy as little school girls to have the two of them here. I'm already dreading the moment that they do move into their own place next spring. And they're not even moved in here yet! See how the mind can be such a dick!
So I'm going to try and relax a bit and be strong; not miserable.
Any help is appreciated.


The mind is a terrible thing, or can be...
How wonderful to have your family with you right now. Precious moment, wonderful moment, present moment. Only moment.