Strengths (and weaknesses...)

I am a very good manager. I have had very measurable success working within the field of Vocational Rehab as a Job Coach and as a Case Manager with people who suffer with having Schizophrenic disorders. I have the ability (especially when meditating regularly) to balance group dynamics into a balance whole so that those that I am responsible for feel valued, challenged and bigger than the mundane task of working for a living. I have counseled well.
If only I could listen (and hear) myself.
When I lost my job as a Branch Manager of a plant that manufactured water-based printing inks, I was confident of finding another high paying position. I had the plant running like a fine oiled machine. Sales were down and downsizing was corporates answer. I disagreed. You are not supposed to see the salesmen as often as you see your own wife. That was the issue. But they were out of the reach of my authority. So, here we all were. The only ones left holding their jobs were the ones responsible for our demise!
It has been a slow unwinding for me.
My practice (meditation) has faded.
I drink too much.
I am depressed.
I work at a job that I believed was temporary at 62% less money.
I feel as though I have zero value and am easily dismissed by everyone as they too realize my lack of worth.
I focus too much on my internal inferiors that clamour and sing the song of "He's a loser."

- You know, to the point that you cannot stand yourself......

My blog has become such a drag. I stalled halfway through my book because I was going Hemingway. WTF!!!!

I need a mentor, a teacher, a guide...perhaps a life coach; cuz I am fucking things up royally. I need to slap my perspective like a roulette wheel until it comes up all winning numbers.

Rest? Flow? Be still?

Nah!