A special transmission outside the scriptures;
No dependence upon words and letters;
Direct pointing to the soul of man:
Seeing into one's own nature and attainment of Buddhahood

Bodhidharma, First Patriarch of Zen (4-6 Cent. AD)

I have a rather eclectic bunch of blogs that I read and not all of them are located on my blog roll. I like reading intimate thoughts, insightful presentations and hearing about the struggles of what it is to be This Being Human....

I have known Preachers and Teachers, Doctors and Musicians, Drunks and Druggies, Witches and Sages, Buddhists and Taoists, Philosophers and those that hold to no thought on anything at all. I have been wooed, amazed, in awe and sickened by people aligning themselves within each category. I have found love and hate, deceit and honor within the ranks. It is the most amazing thing about This Being Human... Beliefs, creeds, labels, applied by ourselves or by others, does not alter the fact that we're a strange bunch.

I know that I have been whining, if you will, but I have been trying to present a full and present experience of what I have been feeling and doing; come high or come low...it's me. At least right now.

I've come to realize that I admire much of what is being said within the blogs that I read and often fail to comment because there is nothing that I can say that will add to your posts. I am somewhat speechless and absent of providing wisdom and profundities. And I'm okay with that. In fact, I am hoping that it is leading me deeper into that state that some may label as Buddahood; which is in fact just another often misunderstood name.

As the Anguttara says;

"It cannot come to pass that the fruit of a deed well-done by the body, speech, and thought should have for a result that which is unpleasant, hateful or distasteful. But that it should be otherwise is quite possible."

I also realize that,
"We all have a deep longing and a Deep Fear of the discovery of what we are, and the mind devises any way it can to avoid this discovery. The most effective way it avoids Awakening is to seek it. (Tony Parsons)

Alas, I have sought it. Pounded my head against the wall. I have fasted for weeks and day for it. I have meditated for it. I have held grand thoughts and expoused big thoughts about it. But I am done in; and perhaps this is what I have needed all along.


Michelle said…
the most effective way it avoids Awakening is to seek it - i think this is very true. surrender rather than seeking has been a hard path for me to walk, and continues to challenge me every day. nice post timmy-keep writing high or low-this being human after all

((((((hugs to you love)))))
Brendan said…
It's infuriating, but nonetheless true. The one thing that will stand in the way of changing myself is to think I need changing.
Thank-you for your honesty friend. This being human certainly is a challenge sometimes. I don't always have the words to say either but know that I am hear--lurking in the shadows reading and sending you love and peace.

Keep the faith and keep writing. I honestly believe that Buddhahood or Christ consciousness or whatever you want to call it reveals itself bit by bit most of the time. It rarely unfolds in one shot.

Anyway, you're doing great and I know you'll over-come any obstacle in your way.