Had a birthday party for my grandaughter as she has just turned three. The cough has not relented and a visit to the ER seemed appropriate at the time. Eleven p.m., party well over, I took the twenty minute drive over. Needed three breathing treatments and after a chest x ray it was determined that yeah, I had the creeping crud....the pnuemonia that I has suspected.
Driving into the ER at that time of the night was so Deja Vu. I worked as an on call for mental health for several years. Hospitals, Lock up, MH residences, a few private homes, trying to ensure one's wellbeing until the morning came. When the real professionals could attend.
I thought about the many times that this ER has seem members of my family. My oldest son has been here several times lately. His bi polar and added addictions have hit a "something you read about" status. You really can't imagine. I have worked hard to have him paint himself into the proverbial corner; where it becomes his responsiblity, and nor mine to fix everything. Tough stuff. I believe that he has every right to be fucked up, every day; better to burn out, than to fade away.....but, if it harms none, okay. Fact is, that behavior harms everyone it touches and I will have none of it. He has met his brick wall - and it is his father. Better that I take the Roman vow and slit his throat...mercy be his. Unfortunatly, he will fight, scream, and God bless....may he have a favorable outcome. Only happens in the movies.


cape said…
waaaaaa! tim if you dare end up in the hospital with them little tubes in yer lungs i'm coming there to finish you off! please take care of yourself and while i applaud your self healing approach, make sure you know when its time for the quacks to get out their kit bags. i am worried love.
Rowan said…
I completely understand what you saying about harming all those around him. I suffered the ripple effects for many years of what an addicted person does to a family....then I started the terrible cycle again by dating someone and someone with similar addicitions. I am happy to say, I broke my self destructive behaviour eventually.