tao1776

I began my third week at the True Value hardware store today. I walk to work when the weather cooperates. It takes about fifteen minutes. After years of a one hour, one way commute, this is a blessing. As an observer of people, places and things, I enjoy the stimulation behind the short walk to work. A synopsis of my position would include customer service through assisting people find items, suggestions on use, cashing people out and restocking, restocking, restocking. About 50% of the daily customer base is on account. Schools, the town, businesses, contractors...all purchase on account. I told the Lady recently, that if I manage to stay for a year, I could run for office. I see everybody. I am a personable conversationalist. A gift I learned to hone during my days of working within the mental health system. You learn a great deal about winning friends and influencing people when you lead a schizophrenia men's group and meet with psychiatrists. The downside comes when you are sti...

Saturn completes its cycle around the Sun about every twenty nine years and has over forty moons. Some of these moons complete Saturns orbit in less that one orbital day, some take upwards of fifteen, twenty and almost eighty days. One moon orbits in an opposite direction in relation to the others and it takes close to two years to make its orbital completion. So what?

The key needed to be filed in just such a way so that a slight movement inwards and to the left enabled the tumblers to fall into place. In line with the teaching of interdependent origination, that which is before creates that which comes next. Just so... His mind knew a clarity hence before unknown. There were fasts limited to twenty fours hours that were performed with little to no understanding. There were several for three days that matched the incentive of the first; that is, to do what the others were doing. The Buddha had spent his time as an ascetic before his enlightenment and learned from the process that that was not the way. That was not to say that it did not possess merit. Merit is so often misunderstood when discussed within Buddhist teachings. You see a disciple place his prayer-held hands above the crown of the head, moving to the forehead, to the throat and the heart, before he lies in full prostration, only to repeat the process over and over again. The merit of suc...

Snow on the pumpkin. Thanksgiving 2005! The first snow brings some excitement. It looks clean, new. It usually makes me think of a nice fire, a bottle of wine, music.... In my youth, a doobie. Good sex. Ahhhhhhh, miss those days, I do. Nothing in the world to do but pleasure each other. Relax the day away. Then, comes kids, bills, a home, a career.............all this effort to achieve, succeed, compete. It doesn't compare with the sweetness of youth. Oh, if I had it to do all over again, says I. Bullshit. I am sure I'd do the same thing all over again. How to have your cake and eat it too. That's the question.

Got my first paycheck today. At least it was something. After I pay my mortgage, I'll be broke. Still looking for something to bail me out. Maybe an equity loan. Just don't know. I'm trying to sell my ovation to help me purchase some holiday gifts. Not a great loss. Just don't have the interest in music that I once did. I also own a bohdran that I had once promised to master, but it lies in it's case mocking me. Not really though. It just seems that my mind is too full to spend time with an instrument. I used to own a vintage Fender, that I gave to a friend. I had a Martin D35 that I sold to help with closing costs when I bought my home. I had a bass cello that I gave to another friend. Tye Lady once owned an Aria that I smashed over the arm of the couch many years ago. I traded my Martin backpacker and some $$ for this Ovation. Just bored with it. I feel as though I do bitch a lot....Just venting. Really. The world is so full of suffering. How can I piss and moan w...

The mind is more powerful than a locomotive...able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Traced to genetics, upbringing; the nature/nuture of it all, makes for a real mess. Sometimes it takes a lifetime to sort it all out. As a young teen, I entered the counter culture with the entrapment of drugs, music and a little misguided anarchy. Not that anarchy is misguided for I support much of it...and it is too often misunderstood. The misguided part was the juvenile vandalism that we often took part in. In my early twenties, I converted to Christianity. It was an about face that I appreciate to this day, although I no longer think of myself as a Christian. As I studied to become a church pastor, I think my parents were much like those in the cartoon above. My mother never missed a church service if she could help it. Beyond that, you never spoke of your faith. My absorption was as the proverbial fingers on a chalkboard for them. Whereas I thought that they would be pleased, they were s...

After leaving the Emerald City to obtain the wicked witches broomstick, per the wizards request, Dorothy's friends arm themselves. The Tin Man has his axe, the Lion brings a canister of pesticide and the Scarecrow, a gun. In an effort to gain some prop to help ward off the fear of what they expect to encounter, they feel the need to arm themselves. Our minds act much the same. We arm ourselves with allegiances, to country, to team, to something bigger than ourselves. We align ourselves with an image, a logo, a flag, a dogma, a credo, in an effort to attach ourselves to something. Meditation melts much of this away. Belief systems fade and are slowly replaced with awareness. What? You didn't notice that the Scarecrow carried a gun? After the flying monkeys carried Dorothy and Toto off to her castle, it was dropped in favor of wit and intuition. Good thing.

Frustration comes easier than hunger sometimes. I mean, the actions of the world's terrorists cannot be condoned. But the vicious circle spins round and round. Watching it makes one dizzy to the point of puking. If you stand to one side, like a parent that waves to their child at each spin of the merry go round, it lends confidence that both feet are firmly planted on the ground. If only it were so.The American government has a long standing history of supporting governments, factions, political movements, revolutionaries or individuals, if it is seen to be in America's best interest. The consequences of such choices be dammed.If your friend behaved as badly, you would turn your back on them. Instead, anyone who questions the GOP's actions are accused of trying to rewrite history or of not supporting the troops. Holding thousands without due process and kicking aside the Geneva Convention is okay because we support the constitution and talk about the goodness of America. Mo...

Miss Brielle came for supper last night. We visit with my daughter and let Brielle explore, play and entertain us. She found the phone. She wandered into the kitchen jabbering into the phone with a big grin spread across her face, and handed it to us. A few minutes later, the police called asking if we had an emergency, and a policeman showed up a few minutes later. "There's the culprit," I said, pointing out Brielle, who met him at the door. She greeted him warmly and officer Geoffry was quite pleased. Just the sort of domestic call every officer loves responding to.

I used to hang out down at Jack's Pool Hall You go down there and don't do nothin' at all If you wanted to play some cards there was a game in the back If you wanted to shot or somethin' you went and talked to Jack If you had a little money you was a grade A fool There was a guy down there who used to shoot a little pool Rack 'em up Till' the day he was dead that all they ever said Rack 'em up He didn't own a TV set, didn't own a car He ate what whatever Jack was makin' back behind the bar They said he had a wife, but she left him in tears He hadn't been home in twenty five years Rack 'em up They came from all over thinkin' they we're pretty hot Put all their money on the table, wanna play the best we got Nine in the corner, five in the side Take a hundred dollar bill and just let it ride I tell him listen son, ain't no disaster There ain't no shame in being beat by a master ...Johnny Lang As a professional observer of the...

The local rock group down the street Is trying hard to learn their song Seranade the weekend squire, who just came out to mow his lawn Another pleasant valley sunday Charcoal burning everywhere Rows of houses that are all the same And no one seems to care See mrs. gray she’s proud today because her roses are in bloom Mr. green he’s so serene, he’s got a t.v. in every room Another pleasant valley sunday Here in status symbol land Mothers complain about how hard life is And the kids just don’t understand Creature comfort goals They only numb my soul and make it hard for me to see My thoughts all seem to stray, to places far away I need a change of scenery....a Carole King lyric His father was an executive at the local paper mill who wanted John to follow in his footsteps and have a good life. During his senior year in high school, John's anxiety appeared to grow. "I don't know what to do with my life after high school," he said often and no one knew what to say. Everyon...

I got hired today at the local hardware store. Although it is $16 less an hour than my last position, I can walk to work. It will save $$ in gas and perhaps help me lose the weight I've gained from 11 months of sloth. My bedraggled son came by as well. Looked like absolute hell. He agreed to enter detox. That took most of the day. I feel so bad for him but only he can do it for himself. My re-entry back into the work force and his move to detox has stress settled into my spine. I walked and hung from the inversion board in an attempt to stretch myself into some relief. Damn!

During Samhain the mind often remembers those that have passed on. This is my father in France during WWII. He has been gone since Oct. 1987 and I miss him. This is the new year, or the dark half of the year and a time to celebrate with a feast and a bonfire. This is the table awaiting the arrival of our guests where we celebrated with food and fire. Thanks, Dad. I appreciate all that you did or tried to do for the family. It was never easy for you, was it?