tao1776

Hawk doesn't think during the hunt. It does not care for theory or ethics. All that it does is natural. Animals live simple lives close to Tao. They do not need to think or reason: They never doubt themselves. When they are hungry, they eat. When they are tired, they sleep. They respond to the cycles of the day according to their intuition. They mate at the proper season, and they nurture their young according to their own understanding. When they die, they fall under the teeth of predators or the dispassionate turning of the seasons. By contrast, we as human beings depart from the natural norm, and worry about ethical action. Extremes of behavior have become more varied, running the gamut from the sadistic to the moralistic. Tao considers all this artificial and unnatural. Why divorce ourselves from nature? The follower of Tao prefers to live completely in concert with Tao, avoiding the interference of theory and excessive thought. Though one must first learn skill and ethics thor...

A beautiful picture, that only could be hinted at. Words were inadequate. In time it became rolled and put away in storage. Thereafter, it was folded. And soon it was crumpled and crinkled and most unrecognizable. Words are inadequate. Can it's beauty be restored? Recreated? Can time be reversed?

This morning will be the baby's funeral. Open casket. I can't imagine being the parent in this situation. I rose early today in mental preparation. I am a wimp in these situations. I can care for a baby on equal par with a woman (except for breast-feeding) and I think I'm a better man for it. However, I can feel myself being overcome with grief and I am seeking to numb myself and stand stoic at the calling hours and at the grave side service. It's interesting that I don't feel that my manhood is insulted because I can care for infants so well, yet if I were to blubber at the sight of this dear dead child, I would feel inadequate. I am aware of the activity of my mind as I desire to be free from grief. Seeking ways to overide it by compensating with anger or depression. I am going to sit for awhile and allow what will be!!!

It started with a feather. A feather that rode the air until it landed at his feet. The gates of his repressed memories were in an instant unlocked and as quickly his mind was clear. Clear in a way he never thought possible. The soot of many emotional firestorms was wiped clean. Even the air smelled differently as if his senses were suddenly heightened. His vision, his hearing, everything changed at the drop of a feather. A large black crow sat alone, without sentry. He observed and gave an occasional nod of the head. The totem served to confirm that his awakening was not a dream but his birth as shaman. He stood and walked as the crow led, forever to wander and guide. Power of wisdom is but one side of the coin. To be cursed, the other. The lesson to be learned is to teach the coin to stand on end forever in balance.

On a more positive note, readers have been aware of my struggles at times with asthma. Although originally triggered by isocyanates and other volatile chemicals, it appears now that pollen and other irritants have made breathing difficult. As usual, the doctors prescribe Rx inhalers and the such. AND as usual, I seek a better way. The pot you see here is called a Neti Pot. You fill it with a warm saline solution and put it to your nose or one nostril to be precise. It flushes your nasal cavaties and drains out the other nostril. Then you reverse the process pouring it through the other nostril. Whereas the Rx did only save me when I was unable to breathe, the Neti Pot has 98% eliminated the problem altogether. Those Damned Yogis, huh? What will they think up next???

Sunday morning......Saturday night was spent around the fire with about ten people, little scotch, little beer, good conversation, shrimp, cheese & crackers, sliced apple and smoked gouda. So, getting up this a.m. was a little difficult and then the phone rang. It was my oldest daughter. My niece's baby died. Her father was holding her on the couch and gave her a bottle at 11 p.m. When he awoke, she was beside him on the couch dead. They don't know if he slept on her and she smothered or died from natural causes. She was 2 months old. We don't see as much death in little children as we once did. We have very old cemetaries tucked in throughout New England with many little children, sometimes from the same family that died from disease. This kind of death is different. How does anyone deal with this? If it is ruled an accident due to smothering, how does the father manage? How does my neice ever be able to look at him? Damn, I hate bad news......

Freud originally believed that the individual’s sense of self was developed in relation to the management of early instinctual drives, which Freud defined as libido. In the first six or so years of the child’s life, said Freud, these instinctual drives passed through three stages: oral, anal, and genital and although I prefer Jung to Freud, I cannot help but notice that I am an orally fixated person. To quote James Robbins, In terms of drive theory, this early loss is thought of as a fixation at the oral stage of development. Perhaps the depressive mother didn’t have enough energy to feed the child properly or attend to its other needs during the oral stage of libidinal development. Consequently, the depressive individual goes through life feeling somehow "hungry"—as if his or her life wasn’t properly nourishing. Not surprisingly, then, many depressive people eat, smoke or drink to lessen this pervasive oral longing. It is not uncommon, then, for depressive individuals to be...

In north central CT there was a section of property owned by a German preacher of the gospel. There was a large main building with a large porch that was converted to small sleeping quarters. Besides the converted porch rooms, the main house had space enough for several dozen people and the porch rooms could double that amount. There was an ajoining bunkhouse that could accomodate a dozen more and there was land enough for perhaps 50 campers. The grounds also held a large tar papered covered tabernacle for worship services. Each year, the German preacher would open the grounds for at least a two week "revival" that was attended by churches from several New England states to hear a preacher contracted to lead the services. In 1976, while attending my second such revival, I decided to quit my job in Massachusetts and align myself with a church group comprised of Christians from across the states and we were welcomed to spend the summer on the grounds. We worked in unison for pr...

Anger he smiles, towering in shiny metallic purple armour Queen Jealousy, envy waits behind him Her fiery green gown sneers at the grassy ground Blue are the life-giving waters taken for granted, They quietly understand Once happy turquoise armies lay opposite ready, But wonder why the fight is on But they're all bold as love, yes, they're all bold as love Yeah, they're all bold as love Just ask the axis My red is so confident that he flashes trophies of war and ribbons of euphoria Orange is young, full of daring, But very unsteady for the first go round My yellow in this case is not so mellow In fact I'm trying to say it's frightened like me And all these emotions of mine keep holding me from, eh, Giving my life to a rainbow like you But, I'm eh , yeah, I'm bold as love Yeah, yeah Well I'm bold, bold as love (hear me talking, girl) I'm bold as love Just ask the axis (he knows everything)

So! I don't like to talk politics because it is very devisive and it is contrary to the nature of things. So! Like others, my opinions can run deep and are the result of lifelong experiences and lessons that have deeply affected me. Such as; 1) My Father's experience as a POW 2) Daniel Shay's rebellion 3) The building of the Quabbin Reservoir S0! All that you touch All that you see All that you taste All you feel. All that you love All that you hate All you distrust All you save. All that you give All that you deal All that you buy, beg, borrow or steal. All you create All you destroy All that you do All that you say. All that you eat And everyone you meet All that you slight And everyone you fight. All that is now All that is gone All that's to come and everything under the sun is in tune but the sun is eclipsed by the moon. "There is no dark side of the moon really. Matter of fact it's all dark."

I've been waiting for weeks to attend an air cooled VW meet in Woodstock, CT. In 1976 I lived just a ways down the road from the Fairground where this was to be held. Interesting thoughts on this day: 1) Am I losing it? I didn't read the notice carefully. Today was a music fest and BBQ from noon to six and camping for long distance travelers. We were there at 9:30 a.m. The actual car show is tomorrow. We drove home. 2) I courted the Lady 30+ years ago not far from this location at a summer Christian campground. We are no longer Christain but have been married for 28 yrs. 3) My Father grew up in this area in south central Massachusetts. He has a sister buried here somewhere. She was murdered when my father was in his early twenties and she in her late twenties. He had her name and picture tattooed on his arm. Another sister was arrested for prostitution here in the 30's. 4) The company that downsized and squezzed me out is now located near this area. I think we drove by it t...

Conservatives saw the savagery of 9/11 in the attacks and prepared for war; liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers. Karl Rove

When I Married the Lady 28 Yrs ago, one of the first traditions we established was visiting her Grandparents about every fifth Sunday. It was a little over an hours drive through small New England towns and we would spend a good part of the day. After 49 years with G.E., the Grandfather retired and they moved about five hours away in Mid State Maine. The country roads were replaced by major highways and toll booths. Our visits became infrequent although they were our favorite relatives. After 22 Yrs in Maine, the Grandfather passed over and we buried him today. His daughter read from the Beattitudes and spoke of how they in so many ways described him. I concour. A good man is hard to find.

The leaves ran and danced about like children through the sun and up the well worn path. I chuckled as I imagined their laughter. Wrestling and tumbling, running and dancing. As usual there were chickadees jumping from tree to tree encountering a disgruntled squirrel now and again as the red and the grey sought to winterize their nests. This was a favorite place of mine in which to hunt. I have had red fox comes near enough for me to touch. I have seen great white owls that had swooped over my head only to land in a nearby sapling to observe me. I have flushed up woodcock and pheasant and have walked deer sign as I searched the woods for a trophy. Ah, to hold a gun in your arms! It seemed a part of my heritage. It felt natural to hold one. The weight, the smell, the ritual of loading, firing, and cleaning the gun. It was though carrying the gun, having it in my possession made me lord of my surroundings. It was better than having a good looking girl on my arm. The woods were mine to ta...

The Lady is a bones player. We once met a rather famous man of the bones world from the UK named Nick Driver. We used to correspond and then he suddenly dropped out of sight. He made a nice set of bones for the Lady that I ordered from him to present her at the Winter's Yule. Along with payment I mailed him a couple of static cling American Flags that were printed with my company's environmentally friendly ink. After I received the bones, Nick informed me that the flags were well received by his wife. She has been in one of the towers when the planes struck. Several months later, as a symbol of healing, she framed a picture of the twin towers and attached the flags that I had sent to the picture's glass. As a further sign of weirdness, the Bones Society was forwarded a letter and a check for Nick's dues several months late. Apparently, it was one of several over seas mail shipments that were at the towers for mail distribution. It was one of thousands of pieces of mail ...

The lady and I spent the weekend in upstate NY. An old friend was getting married. Something we wouldn't miss for the world. This was her second marriage. Her 1st husband was a dick. She deserved so much better. She found him. There was no expense spared at the reception. There was great food, an open bar with top shelf liquor, and cigars too. Me, being a sucker for 12 year old scotch, lost count after four five finger tumblers and after a point in time, I lost all track of time and memory. I enjoy a good drunk now and again but I would rather remain aware. Guinness is a good drink for this. Kick back with a perfectly poured pint, a deep dark ray of sunshine, mmmmmmmmmm! But in my quest to loose some lbs, I have stopped drinking beer. Guinness has the same calories ounce for ounce as skim milk but 12 year old scotch has zero. Made sense that if it had zero carbs I should enjoy myself. Don't remember going to bed and the BBQ on Sunday was ruined since I was sick as a dog. Glad t...

"were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter." - Jefferson .......Why is it that we continue to hear about the biased liberal press? 90% plus of talk radio is right wing. And even when they contradict themselves or are charged with drug offenses or sexual harrassment it is looked upon as no more than a bump in the road. But Bill Clinton gets a hummer and he's a pervert, a law breaker and in no uncertain terms a bad leader. ........The damaging Downing Street memos were reported on less than any other news worthy story. If the press was as liberal as it is described it would have been a top story. .........Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government f...

Tao1776