The Pain of giving birth...

And when I was born, I began to breathe the common air,
and fell upon the kindred earth;
my first sound was a cry, as is true of all.
When we are born, we cry that we are come
To this great stage of fools.

A little Bible, a little Billy Shakespeare

We had a great Halloween party. What began as a little celebration to honor those that have passed on before us and a toast to the Celtic New Year, Samhein and the thinning of the veil for a night, grew into a standing room only assembly of friends, guests and acquaintances. A great time was had by all.
I strove to be a good host and spent time with each one. In my travels from room to room and from person to person I had beer, scotch, spiced cider (heavy on the Captain's) and some kind of egg nog.
At night's end there were only a handful of my daughter's friends and the Subway crowd and my son and a few of his friends. And I was staggering drunk. It appears that I ate little and drank much. I thought that going to bed was a wise decision but gravity had other ideas. Watch out for that top step! Its a doozy!
I fell backwards, hit hard, rolled over into a half spin and landed at the bottom out cold. I ripped open my scalp. I think that I cracked a rib. My hips and back are a mess.
My head looks good now. (Always does:>) and my back and hips are manageable, but the rib(s?) hurt like hell. I may get it checked out today. We'll see.
And this could happen to anyone. Many people have stories to tell. War wounds. But my analytical mind (is that what you call it?) makes me think of how things have changed for the better and for the worse during this period in which I like to think of it as my birth. We are often reborn during our lifetimes. New careers, new directions, sometimes new marriages. We cannot predict where our life will lead us.
I think that is why I have been drawn to the book and movie, "Little big man." Ol Jack Crabbe endures many life changes; from white to Indian to gunfighter to town drunk to scout. Its a great read.
If, at the age of ten, someone would have told me that I'd be studying to be a Christian minister at the age of twenty, I'd laugh for sure. If, at twenty someone would tell me that I'd be married with a house and four kids at thirty, I'd think they were nuts. If at thirty, they said I'd be working with people who suffered from Schizophrenia, that I'd be partially disabled from a back injury, and that I'd be hanging with Buddhists, Taoists and Witches at forty; well, know I would know that they're certifiable. If at forty, they told me fifty would reveal the end of a high paying job, would leave me close to broke, would leave me working in a small town hardware store, would find me drinking too heavy, I'd be definitely left saying, "Huh."
But their is a birthing process going on. I am coming towards my latest incarnation. I am more involved in the community. The local UU has invited me to speak one Sunday. I'm not sure where I'm headed with things.
But I do know, if it doesn't come soon, someone is going to have to do a C-section.

"Very early I knew that the only object in life was to grow. I was often false to this knowledge, in idolatry of particular objects, or impatient longings for happiness, but I have never lost sight of it, have always been controlled by it, and this first gift of love has never been superseded by a later love."
Margaret Fuller


justrose said…
thanks so much for the comment tim. it's nice to know that you happen by when i'm a complete crap blogger now. trying to get back into it.

wanted to let you know i was looking for rilke translations the other week and wanted stephen mitchell and didn't realize he had a translation of the tao te ching also and then got wayne dyer's book about that and have been contemplating much of that these past few weeks. i don't know if wayne dyer situates me in new ageydom but i need stuff in bite-size pieces anymore now that i'm back to work and still haven't gained back the 50 IQ points i lost after giving birth. ;-)it is AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING philosophy. it feels like there are so many resonances between it and christianity (which, despite my endless entreaties to the saints, has not been my strongest suit lately, i sent god a basket of assorted fruits and cheeses last christmas and have yet to receive an acknowledgement card). anyway, this all by way of saying i thought of you immediately when i found this, and i am on a path (of the many i've been on) for once, that i really like. thanks.
justrose said…
ps i hope you're feeling better!