It is true that relationships, especially marriages, take work. That's real life. Ebb and Flow. I've often made the statement to people that are having difficulties with their marriages, "When it is good; it's great. When it's bad, it's really, really, fucking bad"!

The point being that you should persevere.The bad will become good again. And when it's good, it is great!

But sometimes, I do have to admit, working on a marriage can make you feel like Sisyphus. forever doomed to endless labor. And I have found that I cannot push anymore. The rock is beginning roll right back over me. And Christ! I did not know that it would hurt this bad.

And what I find particularly interesting is the level of grief that I feel over seeing my wife suffer so.
I want to spare her. To save her. To make everything all right for her. And she is right there with me! She too is grieving over what she feels. She wants me to spare her, to save her. To make everything all right. And therein lies the rub. The catch. The cornerstone of the entire marriage; she is the perpetual victim.

And I can't fix that. I cannot save her from that. I cannot be responsible for her happiness and security every moment of every day.

I just can't.


Mike Golch said…
That's the way I felt about my first marriage failing.
Shubhajit said…
Nobody can't, unless and until one is strong, really strong enough to take all the blames on his/her shoulders.

Marriage is like an alluring sweatmeat,if you eat it, you will repentant, and even when you don't eat it, you will repentant.

Ah! This life is nothing but an ending string business. We are all bond slaves!!!
Anonymous said…
Well put. You can only be responsible for what you do and how you treat others. You have no power over how they chose to feel or what they chose to do.
Tao1776 said…
Mike - always good to hear from you.
Shubhajit - LOL. Bond slaves! Gah!