What a pisser!

Thanks for the time you gave xxx and me in the interviews at xxxxxxx. Your qualifications and experience were excellent. Our discussions went well. However, xxx and I have decided to move forward in the ink department with the staff currently in place. I will be more active and on site to help Jxxxxx get the policies and procedures in place with his new and experienced employees.

xxx asked me to let you know that he has high regard for your skills and experience and will keep you in mind for other positions or opportunities at xxxxxxx.

Please stay in touch Tim. It was good to get to know you.

Got up early on Sunday and drove the two hours into VT for the VW show. It rained all day. Turn out was low. Only 1 other Karmann Ghia. A beautiful 1967 convertable in showroom condition. The owner was a nice elderly gentleman who was the second owner. Always garaged.

Needless to say, he took first place. I got a real nice wood burned/engraved plaque for 2nd and met some good people. The season is almost over and I'm trying not to waste any time missing local shows. Drove 2+ hrs back to Mass to catch a local every Sunday show. Great time. Drank too much and still managed to hit the local pub on the way home. YeeeeHahhh! Not good, I know......

I have heard nothing on the job. It appears that they may have reconsidered. I really can't understand why. I thought the interviews went very well. Met the HR person, then one of the two owners interviewed me, then the President of the Ink Co...and then, nothing!!! No responses to my good business e -mail. Very unprofessional of them.

There are no jobs available unless I fall back on my human services experience. Too little pay....too much emotional involvement...bad hours...I have to be on someone's payroll in less than two weeks. The view from here is dismal....But I have my rose colored glasses on and I'm trusting the universe to come through. What's the alternative?

It's a beautiful evening and I'm gonna spend it quietly having a scotch and a smoke of the pipe. I've learned to enjoy some of the finer things in life through trial and error. I prefer 12 yr old Dewars and other top shelf scotch available to us mere mortals but alas, the wallet seldom complies, hence, I had to do some very painful comparrison shopping. Clan MacGregor is my Sept. Tracing family lineage on me mum's side is Scots-Irish with the Scot going back to this clan. So it was fitting that I find an enjoyable low cost scotch with this name. 1.75 liters for $20.
I smoke a custom blend of pipe tobacco and most often use my deacon's pipe. A very expensive pipe modeled after the clay pipes of old. With the stem, its about 10" long. If I grew the beard out a little differently perhaps one could mistake me for Amish or perhaps a Hippie holdover. I am neither.
American Indians in New England and elsewhere used tobacco in spiritual ceremonies and often drew the smoke around their heads to symbolize their prayers. I can relate. My time upon the porch is spent in deep contemplation reflecting a poet's muse. Being that poets are a weakness of mine (poets often write other than poetry and convey the same depth and breadth) it is the quickest way to my heart.
Tomorrow, I need to get up early and drive two hours into the mountains of VT for a all VW show. Hope for the "Little Hottie" to do well in the Ghia competition. I like air cooled VW people. Except for a few yuppies here and there, everyone is very down to earth and enjoy the simpler things in life....like me.

It's just a thought. Move on....

I love growing things. We don't have the garden that we once had. I'm only growing an assortment of tomatoes. I didn't create the tomatoes. Although I did put them in the ground and tended them, it only needed the conditions to be right for them to grow their fruit.
Just like a fire. When the conditions are right, ignition, fuel, oxygen. Then a fire can start. Where was the fire before the ignition? After the fuel or oxygen is depleted, where does the fire go?
Are we like the tomato or the fire? When conditions were right, were we a seed and egg that grew in our mother's womb? Did we exist before the conditions were right? After the fruit of our lives comes forth, after our fuel or oxygen is depleted, do we still exist?

Well, "The Little Hottie" took a "Cruiser Of The Week" award at the Cruise Night on Sunday. That make 3 awards this summer with another VW show next week taking place in Vermont.
Some of my buddies call me a "trophy whore" or "slut". Not true!!!! Just like to show the gal (The Little Hottie) how much she's appreciated. The "Lady" is a little jealous and asks that I refer to her as, "The other Little Hottie," implying of course that she is the first. I have to remind her that she is 12 years older than the Ghia, thus making her the older Hottie of the two. Hopefully I won't have to seperate the two!!!!

Thanks, Rose

Is there anyone else like her? http://anonymousrowhouse.blogspot.com/

The Gift

The hero comes down from the mountain,Radiant with the power.
Yet one tussle with a dusty old manquickly tumbles him into the dirt.
In olden times, young men and women who wanted to be extraordinary trained in the mountains with a famous master. Away from all the distractions of society, isolated in the cleanliness, they remained on a high peak and did not come down until they had attained great ability.Such people were heroes, the pinnacle of cultivation. However, in their subsequent wanderings in the world, such heroes would often come upon some oldster who could quickly best them. Whether in philosophical debate or physical skill, there was always some obscure wanderer who could outshine even the greatest of heroes. Why? Because the hero only had perfection, the strength of youth, and courage. The oldsters had the advantage of experience and wisdom.There will always be people in the world better than yourself. Learn to recognize those elders who are wiser than you, and respect them. Know that you yourself will not be great until you have lived a long time.To perfect oneself is difficult but not rare. To have perfect wisdom is rare indeed.
perfection365 Tao daily meditations
........................I recently spoke with somone who stated that I was described as being, "smart." This seemed to tumble through my mind and I chewed on it for several days. I am smart enough to know how "unsmart" I am. I guess this is what they call wisdom. I have come to know very well how much I lack in the way of smarts, talent, and many other things that make for the average American male these days. I am often surprised of the trade off that appears to have taken place somewhere along the way. There is a wisdom within that I have not cultivated, made or profess to own. It just is. And because of it, I'm different. I can travel in any social or religious circle. I can be up front or invisible. And yet....sometimes its difficult to make peace with this state of being. I am hoping that I will soon hear on the position that the company is creating because it will position me to embrace and lean on this gift and begin to flow within the Tao.

As the summer draws to a close...there are still plenty of crusie nights and plenty of cars to be seen.

. 

I Love trucks!!!! 

I Love trucks..... 

I love this 'Stang! 

A Cobra in the sun! 

Roadsters.... 

A very old "Olds" 

Vettes in the sunshine. Nice! 

The Lady (in the middle) not being very Lady like with my two good friends since high school. 

A cruise night attracts all kinds!!!! 

Trust, Faith, the Tao.....When I drive "The Little Hottie" down a winding road, I anticipate little, only respond.
It IS the journey; Not the destination.
Lessons....sometimes we are destined to learn and learn again. Hard headed, I guess.
In the months leading up to my lay off in January, I knew well before it was told to us of our impending demise. Much like the peepers that go silent when danger approaches, I could sense and quite accurately fortold our future. I was without fear or a lack of trust in what the future would hold.
Come about March, doubt began to settle in, and with it all the garbage that doubt brings to the surface of our awareness.
In my simple practice of meditation, a sense of Wu Chi surfaces whereby you calmly respond to what the road brings you. Like driving the Ghia, there is great pleasure in this.
Buddhism puts into words what Taoism only intuitively implies. There are five hinderances to achieving this sense of Tao, or Faith.
1. SENSUAL DESIRE (kama raga) A man's most difficult area as we often wish we could make love to every woman we see.
2. ILL-WILL - A general sense of pissed-offness
3. SLOTH AND TORPOR - What happened to me for the last few months.
4. RESTLESSNESS AND WORRY -Restlessness and worry arise owing to lack of mindfulness. A daily practice helps to reach towards mindfulness instead of the worried state of mind.

5. SCEPTICAL DOUBTS - March, April, May, June, July, .........

I have put out to the universe, a prayer of sorts. I no longer wanted to travel; to commute. I hoped for salary equal to the job I left. I did not want to send a resume to the place that is now looking to hire me because, thinking within the box, there was only one person's job that I wanted. All else was beyond my comprehension. When I did send in my resume, I placed the envelope in backasswards but I sent it anyway.
When one of the owners interviewed me, he stated that he never interviews (but here we were) and he never opens incoming mail. My enevelope caught his eye. Even the position being offered was an idea less than a month old. They are creating a position making me the manager of three shifts and the supervisor of the person who's job I wanted.
A very good friend presented me with a year long Tarot spread on my birthday. It is amazingly accurate and inspiring. The timing, one year ahead from my birthday on 8/02 could not have been more right on.
....As I don't believe in anything...nor disbelieve in anything (Yes, it's possible) I am giddy as a kid at the curves the universe presents me.
Hope the lesson sticks this time!!!

Leo Sun Sign Profile: July 23 - August 23 "We are Earth's best, that learnt her lesson here.Life is our cry. We have kept the faith!' we said;'We shall go down with unreluctant tread,Rose-crowned into the darkness!' . . . Proud we were,And laughed, that had such brave true things to say.- And then you suddenly cried, and turned away."
Rupert Brooke, born in Leo, August 3, 1887.
The mainspring of Leo's great energy, vitality and charm is his instinctive desire for both public acclaim and self-approval. Of all the signs, Leo is perhaps the most aware of himself; in a sense he is always before the looking glass, seeing what effect he is making. In shallow types this makes for mere vanity, pompousness, pride. Add profundity, and all this is changed. Your best Leo type is earnest, sincere, eager to please himself and the world around him and willing, in order to do so, to take on infinite work and go to infinite trouble. He is not genuinely introspective; he has little capacity to discover his inner faults; but he is very sensitive to the effect he makes on others, and studies therefore what to do to make a better effect. There is a difference here from self-analysis to improve character from the inside, but the difference is in method rather than in result.For Leo, in the process of appearing something desirable, actually becomes something desirable. He knows instinctively the wisdom of the advice Hamlet gave his mother: "Assume a virtue if you have it not". By assuming the appearance of a virtue for the sake of winning approval, he actually acquires the virtue itself, for he is the soul of truth and cannot behave as he doesn't feel. He thus removes the curse from his play acting, for his sense of the dramatic is strong, and the roles he assumes are noble. This would be unbearable if in the process Leo did not actually become noble - but he does; some of the greatest spirits who have ever walked the earth are these very Leos who chose for themselves a high role in which to merit the world's approval, lived up to the role, and actually became what they wanted to be admired for. "Such a price do the gods exact for a song, to become what we sing." Whether he is found in business, on the stage (and he often is), or in a love affair (where also he often is), Leo is acutely aware of himself, always standing off and appraising the effect he is making. He will usually be found, if not conventional, at least discreet. Self-approval replaces conscience; he'll do anything if he thinks it is right, and will brave public opinion if his self-approval is sufficiently important to outweigh the loss of public approval. However he behaves, you can rest assured that he is always acutely aware of what people are thinking of him and that he is striving to make them think as well as possible.

What the fuck.............OH! the learning

Listen. I cannot stress enough about how much life has been a learning experience for me. Like we are here to learn; to grow; to understand. I worked as a Lab Tech in the coatings industry in the early 80's. I had everything under control. Granted, I wasn't the most people oriented person, but the job was done. Then, they hired a guy to be my boss. He didn't know his arse from his elbow and it was my job to train him. Just seeing his car pull into the yard each day made me sick. He was a total fuck up, being paid more than me and I had to train him!!! It was truly an experience I learned a lot from. I wish we could sit and discuss it sometime.
So, here I am. Going for an interview with an old customer of the company I last worked for, and they want to hire me as the ink tech's boss. He has always done a great job but lacks the discipline to, well, discipline. Hire, fire, review, exercise judgement! They want to bring me in as the manager of all shifts. Cake is great. I do have a major knot in my stomach. This is ALL that I have put forth as wanting. Less than 10 miles drive. 15 minutes on the road. Management....not getting my hands dirty, per se'. The ink comapny people are coming in from Cal to meet w/e on Thursday. I will need the utmost finesse to walk this walk. I know that I can do it. But, I admit it. I'm insecure. Perhaps that is a blessing. Wasn't it Jefferson that said something about the best leaders being those that didn't seek it? Well, I love you guys. I get so much feedback that helps me to stay or reach towards balance. Please....don't ever stop leaving comments or e mailing me.

Let the games begin.....or continue

Well, hate to lie or bend the truth. But I can rationalize it with a little effort. One of the interviews that I had, I had put off, knowing quite well that they may very well want to hire me. One of the owners had asked the human resource director to interview me. That happened. Then, the two owners wanted me to come in and see them on Monday afternoon. I had to bend a little and let them know that I was scheduled for a second interview on Monday a.m. Approx an hour passed and they called me back asking to see me BEFORE I go to the second interview stating that they were VERY interested. $$$ are an issue. Hours are an issue. So the game of strategy comes into play. Fact of life. Wish it wern't so, but it is.
So, I have two more unemployment checks coming and possible employment on the doorstep.
Now it's their move.

blah blah blah..........

I do interview well, if I don't say so myself. As a Leo and an introvert, I often find myself in conflict. Love to rule, be top dog, control the situation but I also like to be left alone and in many ways hidden.
Experience, within mental health and as an operations manager and within other various constructive fields of learning, I can often manipulate the direction of an interview. I can disarm and charm the hostile or unfriendly.
I had two interviews today. I quickly remembered how to conduct myself after a six month hiatus of late nights and incoherent drunkeness watching the world from my porch...or should I say, perch.
Truth is, I am not very good at the games people must play in order to work in the world of business...not good at it, in the sense that I am often in conflict with how things are. I don't like having to walk in a world of machiavellian court. I am good at it, but I don't like it. Makes me feel a little dirty.
awww shit. here I go again...or maybe not. One will see.

2005 Volks-Vair

Well, the "Little Hottie" came through again! As you can see from the award on the left (ignore the reflection of my crotch and sneakers :>).....she took first prize.
You can see the competition parked on either side of her. There were only 4 Ghias....very rare in the northeast (all the better for me)
There were about 75 assorted bugs, 20 assorted vans, and 40 or so corvairs....Fun for all.....

"Who gives a rat's ass!" I yelled, as we ran across the open ground. Clearly, we were spotted, but in our dark clothing and our evasive tatics of running through back yards and wooded lots we had little chance of being caught. With a curfew placed upon the town, we couldn't risk being picked up by the police and detained until our parents arrived.
Earlier in the evening I threw stones at my buddy's window in an attempt to lure him out. His father sat drinking a quart of beer at the kitchen table and rushed out to investigate. I lay close to the foundation with my face covered in my hands pressed against the ground. He stood inches from my head and scanned the back yard but soon returned to his quart of Narragansett.
My bud soon appeared stating that he was grounded but that his sister engaged his father in conversation allowing him to slip out.
We walked several streets over to once again borrow some bicycles left out at night. We peddled to all the hot spots of juvinile activity until the wee hours and would return them for another night.
Andy and Barney were out in full force tonight. Tensions were high as one of the force was killed a few nights earlier in their zeal to capture a potential hard cased juvy. As they shot at the car he was in, they misjudged the turn allowing the blinking yellow light to blink the officer's lights out forever. Tensions were high because there was a new kid in town that wore the flag sewed on the back of his jacket. Tensions were high as hair was long, skirts were short, and acid, pot and alcohol was in abundance.
We would walk the trestle high above the town and pee on cars that drove into town. No one dared chase us across the darkened span, adding to our glee. In time, many young drivers began to drive across, some daring to surf across standing on the hoods. We raided gardens taking lucious tomatos and cukes, throwing the excess into the neighbor's pool.
We would crouch like shrubs as the police slowed to scan the roadways and fields. On this evening, as tensions were high, surely equal to our high, several men were lying in wait. No one runs harder than a kid trying to escape swearing, cursing, threatening men. We have hid in trees. I strained my knee falling into a sunken grave. We hid in the dried up toilet hole of an old two seater outhouse.
"Who gives a rats ass!" Well, apparently the guys chasing us. The court and the judge, and my father who sat beside me as the judge went down a long line asking for our plea. Before I could reply, my father, sick of hearing each defendant state "not guilty" jumped to his feet and yelled, "What do you mean, not guilty! They're all guilty." He was cautioned to sit by the judge being reminded that all are innocent until proven guilty.
Dad was pissed..........

Tao1776 is another year older on August 2nd.
Another year wiser.
Another year closer to fine.